Three for Thursday

1. Three favorite words
- Bazinga
- Yes, Mom

2. Three things that won’t be allowed in heaven
- dishes
- farts
- negative thoughts


3. Three crafty things I do
- scrapbook
- decorating
- make my budget work. Takes some pretty crafty skills.

4. Three things I swore I would NEVER do when I became a parent, but now find myself doing
(I don't really have anything I swore I would never do, but I am surprised at the following things)
- Letting my kids play video games
- Living so far away from my family
- Laughing at my child saying I'm the worst mom ever

5. Three favorite quotes
- "It's the character that's the strongest that God gives the most challenges to. Now you can take that as a compliment," Return to Me

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other,” Marvin J. Ashton

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day," Richard G. Scott

6. Three names I would never dream of giving my children
- Delilah
- Jezebel
- Beelzebub

7. Three things I plan to do for Memorial Day weekend
- celebrate the Hulk's birthday
- make potato salad
- pray for good weather

8. Three blogs I love to visit
- Peace and Pandemonium
- NieNie
- Untypically Jia

9. Three things that make my husband/partner the luckiest man alive
- I try to let him nap or sleep in every Sunday
- In an attempt to have common interests, I have become a nerd/geek. (If they've done it on Big Bang Theory, you can pretty much bet that I've done it, too.)
- Wonder Woman isn't just my blog name. I'll leave it at that.

10. In lieu of 3 pictures, (since I can't upload them on Superman's work laptop) I will share 3 thoughts on this weeks' TV.
- I wanted Kirstie (but mostly Maks) to win DWTS. He has never won and I think he deserves it.

- I love that an all-girl team, and sisters at that, were the finalists on The Biggest Loser. For the most part, the contestants looks amazing. I was SHOCKED to see Sarah and Deni! I was disappointed that Rulon wasn't there.

- Scotty freakin' McCreery won American Idol. A month ago in one of these posts I mentioned that the idea of him winning made me want to sit in a corner rocking back and forth. I DID NOT THINK THE BOY WOULD ACTUALLY WIN. To be fair, I haven't watched the shows since Paul McDonald left, but Scotty was not the most talented singer. I wish that they would change the voting procedure so I felt like 10 votes would make a difference.

Tuesday Confessional

I am highly unproductive on rainy days.

The last week has held rain 8 days out of 9.

The first few days weren't too bad. I enjoyed the rain, made lists and was fairly productive.

But by Friday, I was sick of it. Sick of being cooped up in the house. On Friday, I did NOTHING. No dishes. No laundry. No real cleaning. Not even any fake cleaning. I read a book, caught up on some finales, and.......that's about it.

I went through 2 bags of Hershey Kisses in 6 days, sitting in my chair, reading my book.

(That may or may not be related to fact that I'm on my "comma" right now.)

Need more proof? This morning when the sun peeked out, I opened the windows, vacuumed, mopped and polished my wood floors. When the sun hid this afternoon, I played Lego Star Wars with the Hulk.

So I confess: I am a follower of Apollo. I worship the sun.

Three for Thursday

Once again, I'm linkin' with Evelyn.

1. Three home improvement projects

~ I'm just going to count "repairing my basement from the flood" as one project.
~ I want to paint my fireplace
~ We need to redo our bathroom. The vanity is atrocious. Pink "marble" countertops.......{shudder}

2. Three favorite songs

~ Lucky by Jason M'raz and Colbie Calliat
~ Amazing by Bruno Mars
~ Far Away by Nickleback

3. Three dreadful things I’m really not looking forward to in the near future

~ finding out the cost for the basement
~ putting on a bathing suit
~ Judgment Day (huh?)

4. Three most surprising things about giving birth for the first time

~ how wretched a nurse could be
~ how much I'd appreciate the presence of my mom and mother-in-law
~ how effective Demerol is

5. Three easy recipes

~ Chicken and rice: shredded chicken breast, cream of chicken, garlic and pepper, served over rice
~ Pasta salad: trio italiano pasta, tomatoes, cucumbers, sliced string cheese, cut pepperonis
~ Chicken crescent rolls: Cooked chicken breast, shredded into large chunks. Roll chunks into crescents, bake. Serve with potatoes and gravy.

6. Three really totally awesome things I did today that make me a Super Mom/Super Woman (aka WONDER WOMAN)

~ Scrapbooked, old-school style. Till midnight. Oh yeah.
~ Volunteered at Spiderman's school.
~ Figured out how to get cable upstairs. (It involved a power drill and SUCCESS!)

7. Three things I never leave home without

~ phone
~ lipstick
~ earrings

8. Three favorite movies pre-1970

~ Sound of Music
~ Sleeping Beauty
~ White Christmas
(They made movies without music back then? What?)

9. Three best skills

~ piano
~ compassion
~ being optimistic (is that a skill?)

10. Three awkward happenings on the honeymoon

~ I was on my period.
~ We were in Nauvoo, Illinois.
~ I was on my period. Yeeaaahhhh.

Feel free to join in!!!!!!

Not-so-Great Expectations

You know, there's a lot to be said for low expectations.

If you have low expectations of movie, you're less likely to be let down by it, and therefore more likely to like it.

If you have low expectations on Mother's Day, you won't be disappointed by not getting a nap, or having to cook dinner. (Or changing diapers, or doing those blasted dishes.)

If you have low expectations of your monthly budget, you'll be pleasantly surprised by the extra $20 at the end of the month.

Superman is a big fan of the lowered expectations. (Anyone remember those segments from Mad TV? HILARIOUS.) It has preserved many a movie for him. And days at work. And snowy Saturdays in spring.

I have adopted the low expectations mentality and will confess that I am probably happier for it. I am rarely disappointed now, which can't be a bad thing.

But I'm realizing there's a problem with continual low expectations.

THINGS DON'T GET BETTER.


Without realizing it, my lack of expectations has affected my parenting techniques. I didn't expect The Hulk to be completely potty-trained by four, and he wasn't. Now he is almost five and we've been over a month without an "accident." That's great, but it's a milestone he should have reached long ago.

I didn't expect Spiderman to calm himself down when he got worked up, and he doesn't. He still has tantrums and frequently breaks into tears.

I didn't expect my boys to make their own beds and clean their own room. So guess what. They didn't. (To be fair, in case my children read this one day or their grandmothers jump down my throat, they are doing those things, now that they are on a chore chart and getting an allowance.)

I didn't expect Miss Marvel to be able to point to body parts when I ask, and so she doesn't. Though it's very common for babies her age to be able to do it.

You catchin' what I'm throwin' here?

I need to have higher expectations for my children. To 'raise the bar,' as it were.

My boys are old enough to maintain control of their bodies -- namely, their emotions and their bowels. And if they don't, the consequences need to be enforced more consistently.

I need to be more aware of what is "normal" and "expected," so that I can keep my children on track. I have been so concerned with not comparing them to other children that I have let them slide in areas that they shouldn't have.

Low expectations have affected my wifery skills as well. If I don't expect to accomplish a lot during the day, I don't. If I don't expect Superman to be amazed by the polished floors and lack of laundry piles, I may or may not tackle those chores.

So I'm thinking that I need to raise my expectations for the things I CAN control (parenting style, homemaking skills) while maintaining low expectations for the things I can't (how much the basement flood is going to cost us, the weather). I'm not saying I can control my children's behavior, but I can expect them to do better and make them aware of my expectations. And it's not realistic to expect to be able to dust, mop, fold 8 loads of laundry, and keep the kitchen clean all while keeping the children happy and not in front of the TV. But I can expect to be able to tackle one or two major chores each day and still have time for my children and whatever may pop up.

So now my bathroom mirror has Pres. Scott's quote with a few things written around it.
"Play." "Teach."
"Enforce consequences."
"Raise expectations."

I'm expecting life to get a little better.

Roll up your pants. We've got high water.

Around 6:00 last night, Superman turned on the spigot on the side of our house. He set a sprinkler up to water a dry patch in our yard. Then he came in and we ate dinner.

30 minutes later, he went downstairs, then yelled for me to turn off the water.

Apparently, the spigot leaked in our house -- the ceiling in the basement.

When he went down stairs, water was pour out the LIGHT FIXTURE and soaking everything.

We moved everything out, sopped up the little bit we could before the towels were drenched, and borrowed some wet vacs.

We have called our insurance company and Service Master, who is coming this morning.

Our computer may or may not be lost. (I'm using Superman's work laptop right now.)

We hope to be able to pull up the carpet and pad, let them dry, then just reinstall them.

Our biggest concern is the ceiling and the leak itself.

Plus, we missed the Smallville series finale! And did I mention that Miss Marvel is teething again? Complete with fever, diarrhea, fussiness and neediness?

Luckily, we have great neighbors who watched our kids, helped up move stuff, and tracked down wet vacs.

Luckily, we caught it early. The water had just started to rise above the carpet. I wouldn't even say there was a real accumulation. When I stepped close to the walls, water would come above
my toes, but that's about it.

I'm doing okay with it all. If I think too much about how much this could cost (along with our $2500 deductible) I get a little panicked, but I just try not think about it.

Worrying about something over which you have no control is, in essence, a lack of faith.

So I am choosing faith. This will all work out just fine.





I think. Hope.

p.s. Happy Friday the friggin' thirteenth.

In a nutshell

My mother's day:

Opened the present I bought myself: a watch with interchangeable bands. (I planned ahead and did it right this year.) Got several "Happy Mudder's Day!" from the boys.

We made it to church ON TIME!

I didn't really get to pay attention to the talks because I HAVE CHILDREN, but I think they were nice. Thought: Maybe the reason I never feel guilty on Mother's Day is because I have yet to really hear any of the talks.

I taught a lesson that went well enough, given my lame attempt at preparation. (If I could use the term "half-@&$*%" here, I would. I wish there was a good equivalent.)

Came home, fixed and ate lunch, watched a movie (translated: cat-napped) with the boys.

Finished a book and ate a truffle (gift from church.) The Hulk wanted a bite, so I told him that for me to share my present with him, he had to give me another present: picking up the dirty laundry in his bedroom. He happily did it, and I happily shared a bite. Then I taught him to let the chocolate sit in his mouth, without chewing, to let it melt.

I tried to take an actual nap, but after an hour gave up on the idea. Apparently the cat-napping I had done previously eradicated any need for sleep I'd had. Plus, Miss Marvel was not happy.

Came out of my bedroom to see Spiderman and the Hulk trying to do the dishes!!!! Completely un-prompted! There was water everywhere and only 5 dishes in each tray, but they were trying!

5 minutes later, they gave up, saying it was too hard and they wanted to play Halloween. We dressed in costumes, and the kids went door to door in our house, "trick-or-treating."

Superman made a delicious dinner, followed by ice cream (for Ice Cream Sunday.)

I let the boys stay up a little later than normal, and even read them part of a comic book for their bedtime story. (Saturday was Free Comic Book day. Don't act surprised that I know that bit of information.)

After tucking them in, they asked me to lay down with them. (Shock, right?) I told them if they could lay quietly for 10 minutes, I would come in.

They of course couldn't do that, so a few minutes later, I told them that I couldn't come in. Sorry. (Look at me, enforcing consequences! BOO-yah!)

As I was closing the door, Spiderman said, "You're the worst mom ever!" Then he began to sing "WORST DAY EVER!!!!!!!" to the tune of Spongebob Squarepants' "Best Day Ever."

I couldn't help but laugh.

I love being a mom.

Trying a little harder to be a little better

I have a quote on my bathroom mirror.

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day." (Elder Richard G. Scott, October 2010 General Conference)

I see it every time I step out of the shower and I think, "I want to become a better mother. So today I will be a better mother." But my thought process doesn't really go beyond that. I start thinking about applying moisturizer, how much time I have before Miss Marvel wakes up, whether or not my pants will fit, and the like.

But a few days ago, I believed I received a bit of inspiration as I took an extra moment to ponder how to become a better mother.

Two specific things came to mind. 1) Enforce consequences. 2) Play with my children.

So last night when Spiderman began to get worked up over some small thing, I told him that if he was going to cry, he had to do it in his room. Its a precedent that was set long ago, but one I'm not great at enforcing. Telling him to go to his room of course made him cry harder, but I just picked him up and put him in his room. He was quiet within a minute or two and we were able to discuss the problem in a calm manner.

And today, I sat down with Miss Marvel and read books for a good 20 minutes. She loved it, and I loved it. This afternoon, I took the kids to the park and played with them.

I think when it comes to consequences, I have been too focused on making my kids happy, rather than making sure they were obedient. (As Superman and I discussed this, he pointed out that obedience leads to happiness. Wise one, that man.) Often when Spiderman starts to get worked up over something, I will remind him to take a deep breath and often calmly talk him through whatever his problem is. If he's already worked up and crying, I will still try to help him calm down. I don't 'let' him yell at me, but I don't usually send him to his room if he does because I want to help him calm down.

When the boys are going to bed for the night and ask me to lay down with them, I acquiesce to their requests about 1/3 of the time. I enjoy talking to them a bit at the end of the day, and I know they enjoy it, too. Also, it means that they are more likely go stay in bed and not play if they've had a few minutes with me in the same room. But this has set a precedent that's not easy to ignore. Now, they beg for me every night. And because I can't go in every night, they have nights where they stay up too late, playing, waiting for me to come in.

I have always been very clear about giving consequences that I am okay with enforcing, and making sure my children are aware of the consequences. This also means that the consequences maybe aren't as harsh as they could (and should) be, because I don't necessarily want (or have the energy) to enforce them.

And I want my kids to be happy. I'm not saying that I let them do what they want to all the time, but I do think that they have not been told "no" enough. Incidentally, that is something else I've made a point of doing. Instead of saying 'no,' I often say 'Not now,' or 'Yes, but only after...' and I'm starting to think this philosophy has backfired on me. Now when they hear 'no,' they are outraged and start to bargain. Then I start to wonder if it's really THAT big of a deal, and if I should back down. But I know I can't back down because then they'll think they can bargain on everything. But then life gets MISERABLE because they whine! And I want them happy, and me happy, and........

I usually resort to bargaining with them.

What's ironic about this is that as much as I have been concerned with my children being happy, when it comes to down time, I'm usually making sure that *I* am happy. I play my needs above theirs. I turn to media (of any and all sorts) instead of taking the time to play with my children. The weather is finally taking a turn for the better and I need to take advantage of it with my children. I need to jump on the trampoline, give underdogs on the swings, play peek-a-boo, ride bikes, blow bubbles........I need to PLAY. I need to build relationships with my children so that when I DO have to enforce the consequences, love is there to back it up.

I'm readjusting.

So now, each day, I tell myself that I have to actively play at least once with each of my children. I am also enforcing consequences more often. I am more aware of the times that I need to do it and do my best to follow through.

What about you? How do you deal with enforcing consequences? What are your favorite ways to play with your children? Have you had to readjusting your parenting philosophy lately?