The true meaning of Halloween

I love the Onion.

Favorite Friday -- I want to know YOUR favorites!!!

What are some of your favorite blogs?
(not fishing for compliments, just looking for new blogs to fall in love with)

What are some of your favorite songs right now?
(not necessarily of all time, just recent faves)

What are some girl names you like?
(because Superman and I are seriously stumped)


p.s. Just saw this: 50% of coupon for Payless store purchase today only thanks to Project Runway designer Christian Siriano! (He's got a line there now!)

Now that's what you call . . . "IRONIC"

I've noticed a some bits of irony over the past few days:

I know I'm lucky to only gain pregnancy weight in my belly.

But it means maternity pants don't fit me. I don't have the booty for them.

~~~~~~~

Do you know what Curves for Women shares a parking lot with in my town?

The Hostess Store.

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I've been so excited to buy little girl things.

But I haven't bought anything because I think the first thing I buy has to be just the cutest thing ever!!!!

~~~~~~~

I just said, "I am in control."

But I yelled it at the top of my lungs.

Noticed anything ironic in your life of late?

**Edit** Another bit of irony: I pride myself on being a good speller. But all day, the title of this post read: "Now that WAT you call . . . IRONIC." Sheesh.

We did it

I stood in line for 5 hours yesterday to get the H1N1 vaccine. It was freezing cold, but luckily they had the line forming in the parking garage, where we were almost out of the elements. In another stroke of luck, a friend lives half a block of the building where the vaccine was being administered and watched my boys while I stood in line.

I had hoped to be there by 8. My boys are generally awake by 7, so it wasn't going to be too difficult. But of course Spiderman slept in till 8:30 yesterday. It was about 9:30 by the time I got there. We walked out around 2:30.

Nearly every woman standing in line was pregnant. I'm sure the fact that my county has more pregnant women per capita than any other county in the nation had something to do with how quickly this vaccine is running out here.

I've been thinking about getting it for a while, but Superman getting the flu last week made me really want to do something. This post from Jan provided some insight, then later that same day, I ended up watching an episode of "The Dr.'s" all about the flu and H1N1. That answered a lot of my questions. This vaccine wasn't developed any differently or more quickly than the regular flu shot.

They talked about why pregnant women are more susceptible. Not only are our bodies working overtime right now and therefore more prone to infection, but our immune systems have weakened themselves. The immune system normally attacks foreign things in the body, so when you get pregnant, your immune system weakens itself so it won't kill your baby. (Aren't our bodies amazing? God must know what He's doing.)

Then right after that show, the local news came on saying that my county would have the vaccine available the next day. So I decided we needed to go. If I wasn't pregnant, I don't think I would've done it. But since I am, I decided I just couldn't risk it. And if I'm going to be there, I might as well vaccinate the kids, too. I'm pretty sure Spiderman has asthma, which puts him at a higher risk, too.

Oh! OH! Speaking of which -- get this. When I found out I would probably be in line for 4-5 hours, I started calling to see if we had any other options. I had called the pediatrician earlier that morning, but they said they weren't due to get any H1N1 vaccines till next week. When I called again a few hours later to double check, they said they had it but were only administering it to high risk cases. I told them that I was pregnant and I was 95% sure my son was asthmatic, but she told me neither of those things qualified me. His asthma hasn't been diagnosed by the doctor, because he's too young and it's a mild case. She told me to call my OB about the shot for myself. I told her that they had gotten a batch to administer, but it was the mist, which pregnant women can't have. (Someone obviously wasn't connecting all the dots.)

I decided to call my regular practitioner and see if they had any. Even if they could only give it to me, that would be okay. I didn't want to wait in line all day! The receptionist said they did have the vaccine, but again, were only giving it to higher risk people. I told her I was pregnant and gave her my doctor's name. She asked if he was my OB as well, and I told her no. She said that they were only administering it to OB patients.

So there were two other places I could've gotten the vaccine and NOT stood in the cold for 5 hours, but neither were able (willing) to give it to me.

In any case...................we got it. And I am no longer worried.

**Edit** My marvelous Mother-in-law just sent me this LDS link with some H1N1 info. Now I'm concerned that Superman had it. He didn't get any kind of anti-viral. The fact that it's been a week since he got sick and the kids and I are still healthy is a good sign, though, right?

Clarity

"We are afraid of losing what we have,
whether it's our life or our possessions and property.
But this fear evaporates when we
understand that our
life stories and the
history of the world were

written by the same hand."

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Random. Ness. Ah heckyes.

I'm watching Spiderman write his name right now. It's pretty incredible. He's going to turn five in November. That fact is difficult for me to comprehend. I will have a FIVE year old. I will have been a mom for FIVE years.

Wow.

Just, WOW.

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Speaking of birthdays.......I had one this week. Celebrated 26 revolutions around the yellow sun. Well, celebrated might be an overstatement. I went in to this birthday with ZERO expectations, and that's a darn good thing. The special breakfast I do for birthdays tasted horrible. Superman woke up feeling pretty gross, and I got all freaked out about the flu. Went to my pediatrician's office only to find out they wouldn't have more flu shots for a week or two.

I did treat myself to a chocolate-banana malt and BLT in remembrance of a long-standing tradition with my dad, but the BLT was pretty worthless. I should've just got a corndog like the kids. A friend came and took me out for ice cream, which totally made my day. By the time I got home, Superman was home in bed. At 3:30 in the afternoon. So I went to the most hick-infested Walmart in Utah County to stock up on flu stuff, and was told to "cowgirl up." (Seriously.) When I told her part of the reason I was worried was because my husband already had it and I was pregnant, she said not to worry because the baby was safer inside my tummy.

Um, except for the part where swine flu KILLS pregnant women.

Whatever.

"They're HICKS, Rita."

I'm just glad I didn't have any expectations for a fantastic birthday. It was just like any other Wednesday, and that was okay. Meant I got to watch gLee and Eastwick.

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So yes, Superman got the flu. When I got home and found him in bed, I went to work. Started washing all the bedding. I quarantined him to his room. Stocked up on Thereflu, vitamins, bleach wipes and hand sanitizer. I slept on the couch, which is surprisingly comfortable. Superman stayed home from work yesterday, and I just kept him quarantined. He's feeling better today and is back at work. And so far, the kids and I are still healthy. (Knock on wood.)

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I still can't believe that I'm going to have a girl. I've wanted a girl for so long that it's taking a while to set in, I think. For months I wouldn't let myself think about how much I wanted a girl in case it was a boy. And now that I know, it's hard to change my way of thinking.

But Spiderman and the Hulk have talked about having a baby sister for months. Completely on their own. And I'm definitely carrying higher than I did with my boys. I am exceptionally short and have no torso, but I never felt my boys kicking me in the ribs like a lot of women do. Which genuinely surprised me. But this little girl is already dangerously close to my rib cage, and I'm barely half way through.

It's alright, though. I finally get a daughter.

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I guess I'm done. Sitting at the computer is making my back hurt. Luckily I watched my shows on TV last night so I don't have to sit here any longer to watch them on Hulu. Loved Pam's pregnancy craziness.

What did you do/watch last night? What are you birthday expectations? Have you had the sickies at your house yet? Wanna make a random post of your own and link up to the Motherboard with me?

Have a great weekend!!

p.s. Terresa at the Chocolate Chip Waffle is giving away Cadbury chocolate FROM ENGLAND. Yeah. She just spent two weeks there. TOTALLY JEALOUS.

26

is anti-climatic.

And that's okay.

Piggy shots

I'm going to get myself and my kids the flu shot today.

I've never done it before, but this year, I'm a little freaked out about the flu.

I'm also a little freaked out about H1N1, since I'm pregnant and have little kids.

Do you think we should get the swine flu vaccine as well?

We definitely wouldn't get the mist, that contains a weak but live virus. #1, they won't give it to pregnant women, and #2, it seems stupid to me.

And did I mention that wards as close as 5 miles away have cancelled Sunday services because of outbreaks?

I'm also a little worried because Superman woke up this morning exceptionally tired, achy, and with what we think is a low-grade fever. (Our thermometer showed his temp at 97.4, but mine as 95.7.) I think I'm gonna make him go to the doctor today, though I know he's gonna really fight me on it. My hope is that the boys and I getting vaccinated today will stave off whatever he's got, but I don't know.

I guess I'd just like your opinions on the matter.

The Women of the Summer of 1000 Dreams

Superman is doing a guest post for me today. Consider yourself warned!

My wife has asked me to do a guest post a couple of times. She thinks I'm funny and laughed all through my sincere attempts to educate all you blog-addicted housewives of the dangers of a zombie invasion. As frustrating as her laughter about such a serious topic maybe I did concede to do a guest post as long as it was about something else that I am equally passionate about.

CHICKS
(not the barnyard type)
(not only the barnyard type)

So here is my attempt to solve one of the most heated debates of our time. We were all but children when these women first came into our lives and now in celebration of the Summer of 1000 Dreams, here is a list of the women who fill my dreams. Disney princesses. Who is the hottest Disney Princess of all time?

All right, let's face it. Whether we are white or copper skinned this vixen can sing with all the voices of the mountains and was definitely painted with the best colors of the wind.
But I just can't get past the fact that this Tyra Banks-shaped hottie is 12 years old. DO YOU HEAR ME, SICKOS? She's a Beehive. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Mulan has spirit but kinda looks like a boy. Honestly, I bet she could sneak into an all boys club and not even be noticed. So even with the risk of dishonor on me my family and my cow, Mulan is NOT HOT.

Snow White labors under the burden of being the post-war, ultra conservative vision of the dream girl. Completely modest and soft spoken. Not to mention she was hardworking and devoted enough to cook and clean for 7 unruly bachelors. I should hook up with her just for that. But when it comes to looks . . . it's said she's the 'fairest in the land.' The fairest of them all, right? Well I'd hope so. The only other people in that land are dirty grumpy dwarves. Even Sarah Jessica Parker could be the fairest of them all with that kind of competition. Luckily, our choices aren't limited to this one grotesque kingdom.

Here we go. Sleeping Beauty. Aurora. They named her after the dawn because she filled their lives with sunshine. This girl has it all. Lips to shame the red red rose, hair like sun shine gold and she looks equally captivating in pink or blue. Beautiful, yes . . . but hot? I don't know. The lazy girl never gets out of bed. Such a bore.


Tiny feet are cute, and she's got an even better work ethic than that Snow chick. (Lets just forget that I even brought her up. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. JK. But seriously, I did.) Cinderella's looks are there. . . at least before midnight. I've woken up to a girl with no make up before. (There is the puke again . . . JK. But seriously.) How about no make up and no fairy godmother. "Surprise! I'm a wash-woman peasant whose been worked to the bone my whole life and was never trained on how to take care of my looks, but we're married now so I'll live in your castle and you'll fix all my problems!"
Next, please.
Now here is a girl with some down-home sense and not an entitled princess. Intelligent and patient, loving and devoted. But she isn't the hottest. I give her a Katie Holmes level of attractive. (Of course the pre-Tom Katie. We don't talk about the post-Tom Katie.) Prettier than the average person but just not hot enough to run with the celebrity crowd she finds herself in. (I told you to stop thinking about the post-Tom Katie, don't do it, its not worth the pain you will cause you and your children.) Besides, I think she's a little too wild for me...'I hear she's into beastiality.' (Belle, not Katie, though I don't know about post-Tom Katie.)

Speaking of beastiality, here it is in a good way. One look from this sex kitten and you can feel the love TONIGHT. Alluring eyes, a smooth silky coat, and that look when Simba throws her in the grass . . . purrr. It's good to be the king. If I could be Ferris Bueller for just one day it wouldn't be his day off, it would be his jungle romp with the queen of the jungle. RAWR!!!

While we are in the animal kingdom lets take a stop by the Coral Reef. Dory has it going on. Slender body, and I just die for a natural blue. Plus, she is forgetful, so if you have a fight, she won't remember. You want to pull a Ross and take a break, then come back? Feel free. But I don't know if I have a shot, 'I hear she's gay.'

While I was in the ocean I found this smoking hot piece of sushi. If you are into fish, this girl is it. A musical voice that can make intelligent princes fall in love. And great hair despite the humidity. Her secret is, of course, 100 strokes with a dinglehopper everyday. Part of what make her so attractive is her wonderful fashion sense. Work what your mysteriously nonexistent mother gave you. These sea shells have earned a D+ in my book.

But do not be mistaken, readers. My womanizing and degrading the most innocent and pure images of your youth is not over yet. Ariel, though smoking..or steaming I guess... is not the hottest. That Honor goes to...

JASMINE

I mean just look at the picture. Do you need to see it again?

Dark smooth skin, big bright eyes, long dark glossy hair, fantastic proportions and a fit body. She is the Kim Kardashian of the Disney world.

Special thanks to my wife's reality show additiction so that I even know who this girl is. (Special tip, don't Google image search this girl unless you are ready for what you will find.) And while I'm on the topic, how is it fair that my wife can watch Keeping up the Kardashians, Real Chance of Love and Rock of Whores with Bret Michaels but if I were to watch them I would be a boob obsessed pig man? Does that seem weird to anyone else?

Anyway. Back to objectivizing cartoon hotties.

Part of what makes Jasmine so attractive is that she has spunk. Not the kinda spunk and fight you want in a long term relationship, but enough to make things fun for a while. Because it's a universal law that no matter how hot she is, eventually the dude is gonna get sick of her crap. But she's got an attitude that will make the Arabian nights as hot as the Arabian days.

Honorable mention has to go to Meg. Because while Jasmine may have the attitude, Meg has the experience. Though I still have to vote Jasmine because she's hot without being trampy. And don't tell me Meg's not; she said herself that she's 'been there, done that.' Obviously a well-practiced seductress in the G-rated world of 12-year-old princesses. In fact, I should have warned you to get some eye protection because I'm afraid she may have infected the rest of the blogosphere with GonnaSyphiHerpelAIDS. (That's the worst of all of 'em.)

So you've heard the list. Tell me I'm wrong, or the more obvious answer that I'm right, just tell me who you think is the hottest Disney princess.

Drumroll please........

Wonder Woman is having a ..............

GIRL!!!!

Everything looks perfect!!! The heart's above the diaphragm, two kidneys, two arms, two legs, two sides of the brain.........I'm due the first week of March.

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

friday randomness

You wanna know what I'm sick of? I am sick of hearing Taylor Swift on my top 40 station. Don't get me wrong. I love her lyrics. I love that she's such a positive role model for teenage girls. I even love that she's breathed new life into country music. (I claimed the genre as my favorite for years, and am still quite partial to it.)

But if I hear She wears short skirts / I wear t-shirts one more time on my favorite radio station of all time, I might lose it. I was just getting over hearing "Love Story" all the time.

I like the song. Basically. I like the concept. Kind of a "He's Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon from a girl's perspective. Maybe I have a problem with the cheerleader-hating part of it. As a former cheerleader AND t-shirt wearer, I'd just like to say that not all cheerleaders are snooty. Or get the guy they want.

Anyway. I'm getting sick of the song. And having to turn the flippin' station all the time.

Fortunately, I think they're going to have a new favorite song that will kick Taylor off the radio. "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus. (It's Miley!)


Just shoot me now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quick thoughts from TV shows this week: Sue Sylvester was at her best this week. Loved Dwight's mafia analogy: "If you give a raccoon cat food, pretty soon they're gonna be back for the whole cat." I'm sad about the designer that left Project Runway. I really liked him/her. (See how nice I am to all you people with DVRs?) I'm a bit confused at the Grey's Anatomy departure. Loved Dr. Bailey on Private Practice. I loved that the two shows felt like one show last night. Oh, and is anyone watching Eastwick? I'm really digging that show.

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Lots of money things going on at the aMayzing household. We replaced part of our roof this week. Such a huge sigh of relief for me. I've had more than one dream about the entire thing collapsing. So I am really glad to have it taken care of. But we had to get pretty creative with where the money came from. We just decided just to "make it work." (Love Tim Gunn.) We're also refinancing our house, and that's going much smoother and quicker than anticipated!! As of right now, we close in a week! Which means the hundreds we're saving in mortgage payments will start in November instead of December!! Right after our uber-tight month!!!

It's nice to see the blessings of tithing every now and then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have no idea what I'm going to be for Halloween. Or my kids, though I'm not too worried about them. Spiderman's birthday is just after Halloween, so last year I bought a bunch of clearanced costumes for his birthday. They have multiple options this year. But my own options are more limited than usual.

What do you do for Halloween? Do you usually dress up? Do you try to do a theme with your kids? Does your husband dress up? Do you rent? Hunt at thrift stores? Buy complete costumes?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm going to Tucanos some time next week. I signed up for the birthday club, totally not expecting to get a card till my birthday next year. But it came within a week!! All I have to do is get a sitter. And pick a day. And decide whether or not to invite others with Superman and I.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR TUCANOS!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The weather is going to be fantastic here this weekend. Mid-70s. I plan on taking full advantage of that. Somehow. So as Antonio Sabato, Jr. would say, "Ciao, bellas!"

there are no words

This boy.

The Hulk.

I don't know what I'm going to do with him.

You probably can't tell what he's eating here, so I'll tell you.

It's salsa. Straight.

It was his lunch.

We were out of chips, and it's the only thing he would eat for lunch. A bowl of salsa with a spoon.

~~~~~

Then just a few minutes I walked into the kitchen to find him on top of the stove, opening the cupboards (since that's where I keep the candy.) He had a bag of candy corn in his hand, and told me he wanted some.

I almost acquiesced to his request, then noticed a puddle of liquid at his feet. On the stove. And the floor.


Yup. You guessed it. He peed his pants.

He does it about twice a day. No matter how many times I ask/tell him to go. No matter how many times I take away privileges for it. No matter how many rewards I offer, or praises I give. He just gets busy playing and doesn't stop himself when he should.





I CAN'T WAIT for him to be a teenager!!!!!! It's gonna be SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!

Pesky pests

There's a first time for everything, right? Yesterday I had a few firsts.

I got stung by a bee. Right on the soft tissue below my eye. I didn't even have time to try to "send him love" like they suggest in The Secret Life of Bees. He just ran into me and stung me. Twerp.

At least now I know I'm not allergic to bee stings. I just look like a battered woman.



Superman killed some flies in the kitchen. That's not the first time he's done that, just the first time he's used MY SPATULA to do it.

Seriously. My spatula.

He couldn't find the fly-swatter.


Pesky pests.

{!:random:!}

Did you see the Office last night? Jim and Pam tied the knot!! It was such a great episode. Classic Office. But I cried. Honestly. I am such a pregnant sap. I even cried during the funny part at the end.


I just love it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of being pregnant..........I've started feeling the baby move! It's just the best. Especially since I haven't really felt pregnant. I've barely been sick. (Please don't hate me.) And while I definitely look pregnant, I haven't gained much weight. (Again, don't hate me.) It was the same with Spiderman and the Hulk, though I was a bit sicker with them than this one. My body just handles pregnancy well, I guess. I almost wanted to be sicker this time because "they" say you're sicker with girls.

My ultrasound was scheduled for this next Monday, but a couple of days ago I got a call from my doctor's office, saying that the ultrasound tech had a family emergency come up and wasn't going to be in the office all week. Could they push back the appointment?

Well, what could I say? No? So now I'm waiting an extra week. And I'm trying really hard not to be bitter about it. It just gives you more time to guess if it's a boy or a girl!

Some helpful hints:
- I craved fruit the entire first trimester
- Hardly sick
- Healthier skin
- Carried low with both boys, but I think it's too early to tell if I'm carrying high this time. But I've been visibly pregnant for over a month.
- Spiderman and the Hulk talk about having a baby sister all the time, and I have been very careful not to mention gender on my own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun is shining today. We've officially entered fall, and sunshine makes all the difference. Cloudy and 55 is much colder than sunshine and 55. And the sun is shining today. Makes me very happy.

I'm still going to make soup for dinner tonight, though. A friend and I got together this week and did some dinner/freezer prep. I have the makings for homemade chicken noodle soup sitting in my freezer. And it lasts such a long time that I might not have to cook till Sunday dinner. Especially since Superman's not the biggest fan of homemade noodles. (He may be a zombie expert, but he's just about the pickiest eater ever.) But he gets free lunches on Friday at work, so he won't be too hungry tonight.

It's a fool proof plan, really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gLee is rockin' my face off. Does anyone else find themselves singing along without realizing it? Last week's episode with Kristin Chenowith was fantastic. I loved the version of "Alone" she did. (I even found a version of "Witchy Woman" she sang for my halloween playlist. HIghly appropriate, no?!) I tried to make a playlist with gLee music, but it's not possible. I guess they're only doing it on iTunes for the time being. (I'm just thisclose to breaking down and getting an iTunes account because of it.) But I was able to find videos on playlist.com. I got quite a few video clips of the songs. I put the playlist at the bottom of my blog, but for someone reason, only one video ever transfers with the code. "Don't Stop Believin'" is all I can get. We've listened to that song so much that Spiderman sings along.

It's actually really cute. He'll sing, "Don't stop believing! / On and on and on and on and on / Follow the prophet / Follow the prophet / Follow the prophet / Don't go away / On and on and on and on!"

The boy loves to sing, we just need to work on keeping the song straight.

Have you heard "Say Hey!" by Michael Franti? I sang that song really loudly in the car one day and now it's our theme song and Spiderman and I sing it back and forth all day long.

He knows all the chorus and will just start singing the "I love you" part at random times during the day. Or "Hey mama! Hey mama!" It cracks me up and I love it. I wish I could record it. I probably could on my phone....I'll have to do that.

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Alright. This post is much more random and rambly than my usual Friday posts. But for some reason it's been a long time since I've done random Friday post and I'm a bit out of practice. I'm not gonna list 10 random tunes because I've already talked about music and I don't have any new music to share. If you really want to see what's on my playlist, it's right up there. Be sure to click the "random" button -- I think it's the twisty arrows one. Kinda breaking Motherboard's rules, but I think she's okay with that.

Have a marvy weekend! Enjoy fall wherever you are!!

Inquiring minds wants to know.......

What would you do?



Go.


Just kidding. Here's a hypothetical situation: You get a gift card in the mail to a great restaraunt. Let's say.............Tucanos, hypothetically. It's a coupon to get a free meal when you buy a meal. Only, it's not addressed to you. It's addressed to some former resident. And they're only getting the card because they're part of the birthday club and they have a birthday in October.

But let's say, hypothetically, that you ALSO have a birthday in October. And you L O V E Tucanos. Like Ryan Seacrest loves to work. And you never get to go there because it's kinda pricey but literally THE BEST FOOD YOU'VE EVER HAD. Have you been there? Have you had the pineapple? The bacon-wrapped-whatever-it-was? The mashed potatoes? (It's possible that pregnancy cravings are having some effect right now.)

So, what would you do?

It's October, and you know what that means! ZOMBIE AWARENESS MONTH!!!!

That's right, faithful readers. October is Zombie Awareness Month. And because I don't ever want to hear that one of my readers died in a zombie outbreak, I took it upon myself to find some answers for you. I asked the foremost zombie expert in the world, Superman, a few questions to help us all be more prepared.

Why do you think October was chosen as Zombie Awareness month?

I think with Halloween there's a legitimate concern that a person could mistake a real zombie for someone dressed up in a costume. The worst possible scenario would be for a zombie outbreak to occur on Halloween. An outbreak could reach critical levels before anyone even noticed. If people don't know to look for, the results could be catastrophic. Dogs-and-cats-living-together catastrophic.

Zombie Awareness Month was initiated by our last administration, who were ever vigilant of threats. See this video of the press conference where the program was introduced.


What kind of indicators should we be looking for?

It entirely depends on the type of outbreak. Most people don't realize there are multiple zombie types. Symptoms will vary per type, but typically they share same general attributes. They have discolored skin. There will be no response to intelligent or social interaction. They're typically blood-covered and smell like death. And there is almost always a non-stop need to feed. I know what your thinking, 'That sounds like, K-Fed.' Well, you've been warned. Celebrity Fit Club could get pretty interesting this season.

What types of zombies are there?

Currently scientists are working to correctly categorize the types, but keep in mind this is largely academic exercise for people looking for cures or ways to contain the outbreaks. For the normal person looking just to survive there is just one type: the type that wants to eat you. -- similar to ex-girl friends, they may have subtle differences but they are all the same. There are sub-categories: brutes, racers and slow. Slow is your traditional zombie -- alone they are no threat and currently there is even talk is of domestication. How wonderful would that be to have a passive zombie to mow your lawn get the paper. The problem comes when they are in vast numbers. Brutes result from an outbreak that increases rather than decreases physical strength and even alone, brutes should be avoided. Racers are the most dangerous-- they are fast and do not tire. These types can sustain heavy sprint spreads for up to 28 days. Even with PF flyers (Guaranteed to make a kid run faster and jump higher), no human can keep that pace.

Is there a Z1B1 vaccine? Would you recommend people get it?

The government has a vaccine for some strains of outbreaks, though it is considerable different from the vaccine that turns you into a pig. They even have a few cures for zombieism. They are expensive to produce, so their availability is extremely limited. But even if they were widely available I would never recommend them. The vaccine, like all vaccines, will give you the virus, even if only a tiny portion of it. There is a small yet real chance of contracting the disease or worse -- a mutated form of it. Its just not worth the risk, especially when in most scenarios you have to be bitten by a zombie to become infected. For the everyday person a vaccine would only be useful for the very rare possibility of an airborne outbreak. And even in that case, some breathing filtration mask would be much more cost effective and efficient for you. Plus, masks are terribly comfortable I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

What is the best weapon to use to fight zombies?

Let me be clear about this. Do not fight or attempt to stand your ground if at all possible. I know in the movies is fun to go zombie hunting, but your goal should be escape, not combat. Though even with escape as the goal you will need to be armed. I recommend a pistol-grip 12 gauge shot gun-sawed off of course. Without question it is the superior weapon for zombie defense. Only a precise head shot will kill a zombie and while other rifles and hand guns can do that, you most likely won't have the training or time necessary. If you miss the head you won't even slow the horde down. It has knock down power and the ability to hit more than one target at a time. Like PMS, the sawed-off shotgun is rarely fatal but can derail any advance. Your goal is to blast a path out, not rack up kills. THIS IS REAL LIFE NOT SOME VIDEO GAME. It can also double as a good smash melee weapon. Though melee with a zombie is not preferred. Even if you win, you will most likely come in contact with some of the zombie's blood and can therefore become infected. This is why swords and knifes are heavily frowned upon by experienced zombie fighters.

Almost as important as the shot gun is the rock and roll. You can not effectively kill zombies with out blaring rock and roll music. Anyone who knows anything about zombies knows this.

What should you do if you suspect someone is a zombie? Is trying to save others even worth it?

Well, I can't answer that. It depends on your personal ethical and moral religious beliefs. Only you can decide if you should risk yourself to save others who can not fend for themselves, or if you think the strongest should survive. Will you decide to keep an infected person with you until you find a cure or blow them away with your handy-dandy shotgun? These are hard decisions you may have to face. What I can tell you is that you have better odds of surviving if you are in a group and the more charity and compassion you show has an inversely proportionate relationship to your chances of survival. If you ask me, (which I guess you did), once someone is bit they are no longer your friend, or your grandma, they are zombie. I'd shoot 'em in the face. I'd expect them to do the same for me.

If you suspect someone is a zombie you can test it by attempting intelligent social interaction. If they can't respond to you, then you know. Extra care should be given when testing reality show contestants as they already have limited abilities to intelligently interact.

With Halloween upon us, I want you all to be able to accurately distinguish real zombies from fake zombies.
These are obviously costumes and therefore fake. You can tell by the smiles and the spotty make up job.

This is obviously real. You see the lack of limbs and the ability to horrify you even in black and white. (Note: not all zombies will be in black and white. They bleed red.)

If you can't be sure at least keep them in isolation and contact me or any of your local zombie outbreak offices.

Is there any training offered for us to better protect ourselves?

A quick google search has multiple training tools. This is just one site that I found. Documentaries are produced every year with a great amount of training. You may also want to pick up the zombie survivor guide. This is the offical site for the government's zombie awareness program. They always taking recruits if you've fallen on hard time in this difficult economy.

What kind of precautions should we be taking? Is surrounding ourselves with sick people to sacrifice a good idea, or is it just a threat of a weakened immune system?

The # 1 precaution you should be taking is make a plan. I am always surprised that less than 2 in 10 Americans have a zombie outbreak plan. 2 in 10?! That means more people watch The Biggest Loser every week than have zombie survival plans. It's just silly. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. You need to know before it happens where you are going, what your options are, who you will sacrifice first, etc. Because when it happens there will be panic. Massive panic. Don't count on your ability to make decisions then, or even the officials. (Thought honestly, when can you count on official's decision-making abilities?)

Beyond that, stay in good physical shape, and get some kind of training. You'll find it very helpful.

If your readers have any more specific questions please submit them and I'll have the team review and answer as many as we can. This month especially its important to know. Because

knowing

is half the battle.

I heart shoes

Of all kinds. I love shoes. Especially at a bargain. My favorite pair of heels were these patent leather peep toes with 4 inch heels that I found on clearance at Target for $7. I 'd show you a picture if (1) I had an operating camera and (2) our lovely dog hadn't chewed one of the shoes to bits. (No, I'm not at all angry about that! Why do you ask?!)

Anyway......love the shoes. Love little boy shoes. My kids are still young enough that I can get away with picking out their shoes and they don't demand that Thomas the Train be on them. With two boys a year and a half apart, I've been pretty lucky in that I can buy a pair for Spiderman and about the time he grows out of them, they'll fit the Hulk. And are still in decent condition.

But that's beginning to change. They wear the same size now. Spiderman might be a half size bigger, but they can easily swap shoes. I suppose this is convenient, but it is also MUCH more expensive! It's like buying for twins now!!

So when I saw that the sweet Lolli was doing a kids shoes giveaway, I entered in the hopes that I'd win. Then I saw that a lot of people had entered, which meant I should probably up my chances, and blog about it. (Elder Bednar told us not to be hypocritical!!)

I think I want these:


The Hulk's favorite color is green (because that's the color of Yoda) and you can't go wrong with non-tacky-looking velcro straps!!

So if you need shoes for your kids (boys and girls) sizes 9-3, go check out Lolli's giveaway!

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!

I am SO EXCITED!!!!! Mormon Mommy Blogs had a giveaway a little while ago and I wanted every single prize they offered. They had chore charts for kids, tablets to clean out my smelly washer, exercise programs, cute reusable shopping bags, just to name a few. So I entered like every way I could. Blogged, facebooked, became a follower......the whole thing. And it paid off! With the thing I wanted MOST!!!!!

A $25 gift card to Sugarhouse Ink!!!!!

This baby will actually have BIRTH ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!!!!!!!!!

No, this is not an official announcement. But I do find out one week from today if this little peanut get his brothers' hand-me-downs or her own brand new wardrobe!!! I can't believe it's almost here. I'm sure it surprises no one that I want a little girl like Dwight wants to overthrow Jim, but I would honestly love another little boy. I know how to do boys, and love my boys to bits. Not to mention the fact that it would be a lot cheaper.

So the moral of the story is: it pays to do all the pimping for a giveaway you really want to win.

Conference play-by-play

I am usually a meticulous note-taker during General Conference, but this year has been really hard for me. The General RS meeting was great, but not exactly what I needed (and therefore expected). I think that kinda set me up to have low expectations of the rest of Conference.

I was really excited to hear Elder Bednar talk Saturday morning. He's a favorite for several reasons. But because he spoke in the very first session, I wasn't anxiously anticipating the other sessions, wondering when he'd speak. In fact, his talk was about the only one I paid attention to yesterday. His and Pres. Uchtdorf's. Spiderman and the Hulk were running around, acting curiously like little boys. And by the afternoon session, I had a headache and was really tired. (Read: I accidentally fell asleep and missed most of the session.)

I enjoyed this morning's session. Lots about love. And I think it's great when the music corresponds so perfectly to the topics. Love is Spoken Here, Have I done Any Good?

So now I'm going to blog as I listen to conference. I'll type what I want to remember, and whatever else pops into my head.

Jeffery R. Holland
Talking about Lehi's dream and the Rod of Iron
someone else was talking about this earlier, too. Sister Dibb? Safety equipment?
I haven't been doing that great with scripture study.
Come Unto Christ -- dying man's testimony
What will be my dying testimony?
What's my living testimony?
Loved DeNae's post today. I should comment instead of lurk.
There were a few talks about Joseph Smith yesterday, too, huh?
I guess this is more about the Book of Mormon than Joseph Smith.
I need to read the Book of Mormon more, if not daily. But I also want to do a quickish study of the Gospels.

I should've done the dishes.

Quentin L. Cook
Stewardships
Why do I serve?
Right thing to do? Earn favors from others?
We should serve because that's what God wants us to do.
That's Superman's life motto. Do it because it's what God wants.
Stewardship isn't limited to a temporal trust.
Stewardship of ourselves and families:
Even with headphones on, the kids are so distracting. Breaking up fights gets old.
I think I missed something about bringing children into the world
............something else...............
Now I'm just frustrated that I've missed so much. Why am I the only one who can respond to the children's requests?
Stewardship of poor and needy:
The 80-year-old Sarah reminds me of my grandma!! She can't be stopped
Don't run faster than you have strength, but be diligent
Loved Elder Bednar's talk. There was a lot in there for me regarding my stewardship as a mother.

Missed this guy's name
This guy went to Finland on his mission! Hi Annette!
Mahoney? Is that Annette's mom? Wasn't she from Finland?
I don't think it's the same mission president -- Annette was there in the 80s, and this guy was there in '76.
How cool that his son went to the area he prayed would be opened?!?!

that was a fast song

Dale G. Renlund
I should've done the dishes. And started something for dinner.
People of Ammon
I love Alma 5. I had an Institute teacher who said he frequently read that chapter during the administration of the sacrament. I should start doing that again.
I can pray morning and evening, and spend at least some time in the scriptures. That's easy. I can do that.

Michael T. Ringwood
"And thus we see" was a group name at EFY one year. Can't hear the phrase without thinking of that.
I love that Nephi and Lehi's parents (?Helaman?) thought their children's names were so important. I wonder what this baby's name will be. I wonder what the gender will be! The boys talk about getting a baby sister, and it's not because I've told them that. Honestly. But I SURE hope they're right! We find out in 8 days!!!
Spiderman loves the song "Follow the Prophet" right now. It's good counsel. ;o)
It should be EASY to follow the prophet

Joseph W. Stitati
How cool is it that a man of (I'm guessing) African heritage is speaking in Conference?! I love hearing speakers from other countries and the perspectives they offer.

Stray thought: If God is no respector of persons, why did it take so long for black men to receive the priesthood? I know it doesn't matter anymore, especially to me, and I know all the standard answers, but it's just something I'm anxious to learn more about after this life.

Maybe he's answering my question: There is a time and season for everything. Christ didn't preach the gospel to Gentiles when He was on the earth. It was only after God gave the "okay." Gods ways are not our ways. (Trite, but true.)

D. Todd Christofferson
There is no excuse for not living standards.
Should we impose our standards on those not of our faith?
We can't force people to do what we think is right. That in itself is wrong, and impossible. But we should share with them what we know to be right and true, then let them choose for themselves. (Simple doctrine, but something I'm finding new applications for.)

Laws shouldn't keep people in check -- customs, traditions, and manners should.
I think he's making a case for small government....... ;o)
More about the people of Ammon, and their sons.
Something that I always think of: yes, their mothers taught them. I think the mothers are mentioned specifically because many of their fathers had been killed after burying their weapons of war. The mothers were also widows, who undoubtedly raised their sons to know of the faith of their fathers, and their willingness to die for it.

I need to teach my children what is right and true with as much fervor as Satan will try to teach them the opposite. I don't want them to lead a life of crime!
Just because you want something, doesn't mean you should do it or have it!

~~~~~~~~~~~

I mentioned Elder Bednar's talk from yesterday. I thought it was great, but I've loved every single address I've ever heard him give. He mentioned (among other things) being consistent. That's something that I (we) struggle with. I need to make family scripture study and home evening happen with consistency. I'm going to get the new, small, Gospel Art Book. I think they're just a few dollars from the Distribution Center. Pictures with a scripture. Easy-peasy.

So that's it, I guess. I didn't get as much out of this conferece as I have in the past, but it's only because I didn't make the effort. There did seem to be a lot about love and service -- always good themes. And there was that one talk yesterday about gospel teaching -- I want to read that one again. I think it was good, but I didn't pay as much attention to it.

What did you think? Themes? Favorite talks? Thoughts?

Isn't it ironic?

I find it ironic that after going to the chiropractor for the first time in a year and a half, he told me to avoid stress as much as possible the rest of the evening, and the only thing that caused me stress was how much the initial visit cost! I had no idea till after he was done that it was going to be SEVENTY dollars. Luckily, I called the office afterward and they're going to work with me.

I find it ironic that the Hulk (3) rarely makes it to the bathroom when he needs to go #2, but when he does is able to wipe himself, yet Spiderman (4 1/2) is completely potty-trained and still needs me to wipe him. I've even walked in to find the Hulk helping Spiderman wipe.

It's kind of ironic that I look forward to having people over to enjoy myself and relieve a little stress, but the mass chaos of kids and housework before causes more stress!

I think it's ironic that many people who travel to stake centers to watch conference would love to view it in their homes, while it's broadcast to my home and all I want is to watch it at my stake center kid-free! And my stake center only does the broadcast in Spanish.

It's all a little too ironic.

Don't cha think?