My own blue-eyed boy

Today is the Hulk's birthday. He's 3. I'm slightly traumatized.

His birthdays are harder for me than Spiderman's are. I imagine it's like that for most moms and their babies. With Spiderman, it's always, "I have a four-year-old? How am I old enough to have a four-year-old?"

But with the Hulk, my thoughts are, "My baby's 3. Why can't they just STOP GROWING UP?!" And he's not a baby anymore. He's a little boy.



It was thinking of this little guy that made me cry listening to Sherrie's song about her own blue eyed boy. (See sidebar and previous post.)

.............................

It's been 6 hours since I started this post. We've had birthday danish rolls, opened presents, and played with new toys all day. This post has been in the back of my mind throughout it all.

I really don't know what I want to say. I could tell you about the Hulk -- he's passionate, he's got the cutest smile and this husky laugh that I adore. I could tell you about the things he loves right now -- Star Wars and......Star Wars. Brings the movie with him everywhere. Pretends Otterpops are lightsabers. Wears his blanket as a cape and calls himself Yoda, or "Yoya."

But none of those things capture what I'm feeling right now. I'm just sad that my kids keep growing. I love every new stage they enter, but it still breaks my heart. Maybe I'm just too dang baby-hungry right now to look at Hulk's birthday with the right perspective.

Regardless, I love my little boy. I'm so glad that he still likes to cuddle up with me. I love how much he loves/imitates his brother. And as much as I complain about him growing up, I love seeing all the new things he learns, and the way he changes daily.

Love you, sweet boy.

My new favorite artist

You may have noticed that for the first time in months, you're hearing music as you view my blog. (I suppose that only goes for the people who are actually HERE and not just in Google Reader. If you're cheating, CLICK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!)

Ahem.

As I was saying, you'll notice that you're hearing some lovely music right now. I put it on autoplay because I know how rarely *I* click play on others' playlists and assumed most people were like me. But you just gotta hear this music.

Especially since it's the topic of my post this fine Friday.

Have you ever met Sherrie? I have. She's amazing. She's gorgeous and funny and sarcastic and honest and she's a freakin' MARATHON RUNNER. And she's just released a CD of her own piano compositions. (In case you haven't caught on, that's what you're listening to right now.)

I got my copy of Sherrie's CD last Thursday. I could hardly wait to put it in my CD player. In fact, I didn't wait. I popped it in and got a head start on my dishes.

And I was honestly blown away. I loved every single song I heard. Three of them brought tears to my eyes.

I asked Sherrie a few questions about her music.

At what age did you start playing the piano? Um, I have a photo of me, around 1 year old standing on the piano stool pounding away in a big old saggy cloth diaper with a huge grin on my face (not going to sent it to you, sorry). So, basically since birth. I think my Mom started teaching me Suzuki Piano around age 4.

When did you start doing your own arrangements? My first composition was a song called "Magnificent Melody." I wrote it when I was 10, and won 1st place in the Reflections Contest with I was in 4th grade. (Wow!) Only recently, probably in the last 2-3 years, have I revisited writing. I've always been a very technical pianist. I'm very much a sight reader, and have never played by ear very well. One day, I sat down at a piano somewhere (at a relative's house or something), and didn't have any music to look at, so I started goofing around. At first, every thing I did always turned into I Am A Child of God. So, naturally, that was the first hymn arrangement I did.

Do you like arranging more, or composing original songs? Both. Arranging is easier, by far. Especially hymns. When I have a basic melodic structure, it's easy and fun for me to play around til I find something that sounds like it came from me. When I'm composing, sometimes the song just comes out. Other times, it takes a lot of work. Some of my most brilliant inventions have come from playing something, and making a mistake, and deciding I like it.

When did you first decide to make a CD? I've always dreamed of being a concert pianist. A few years ago, while I was still teaching piano, I decided to write a song to play for the recital. It took several months to perfect it. I decided to call the song Solitude, because of the rare moments of solitude I have to write as a mother of three. After that, the creative flood gates kinds of just flew open, and I decided I needed to record everything before I forgot it, so I recorded a bunch of songs on my parents' piano. That sort of lit the fire under me, especially when a lot of people were interested in getting a copy. That's when I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this.

What's your favorite song on the CD? Oh, that's a really hard one. All of my songs have a story behind them. It's hard to pick. Probably "Running with Angels", because it's got a great melody, and rhythm, and I wrote it thinking about running, so it kind of combines my two passions: music and running. I also love "Heartstrings". I wanted to write a song based on the open strings of a violin: G D A E. So, one day, I sat down at the piano, pushed record on the dubbing machine, and "Heartstrings" is what happened. I totally made it up as I went along, and it turned out pretty cool.

That said, tomorrow, I might have a different favorite.

Do you decide on song titles/general ideas, then write music from there? Or does a melody come to you/you figure it out, then you decide on a theme? Or do you write the whole thing and figure a title that fits? Because knowing the titles made me think of the song differently. (Kind of a chicken/egg question.) I just wondered a bit about your method.

Every one of my songs has kind of a story behind it. So, usually, I sit down thinking of a specific subject/event/person when I write the music, but not necessarily a title. A lot of times, I'm just goofing around on the piano, and something comes to me, other times I have to play around/work at it till I get something I like. Then, I name the song based on what I was thinking about when I wrote it. I think the only song I had a title for ahead of time was "My Blue Eyed Boy." We listen to Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl" a lot, (because my girls have brown eyes), and TJ wanted me to write a song for him. So I did.

"My Blue Eyed Boy" is one of the songs that made me cry. (Go on over and click on it. I'll wait.)


You back? This is one of the songs that knowing the title to made all the difference for me. I have a blue-eyed boy of my own, and I could hear our dialogue as mother and son throughout the song. I couldn't get his face out of my head as I listened to it. I love how it starts out slow and soothing. A bit like a lullaby. Then it grows. It ebbs and flows, like a mother and child in their ever-changing relationship. The child is growing, the mother, adjusting. Everyday, both are learning new things about the other. When the main melody repeats, I hear myself saying the same things over and over to my son. Pick up your toys. I love you, buddy! What's the magic word? Come give me a hug! The song just builds from there. That little boy keeps growing. Suddenly he's an ornery preschooler. It gets to a climax and I can just hear myself scolding my blue-eyed boy. But before it's all harshness, I remember to let him know I love him. Can't you just hear the hug in that reprimand?

All is forgiven. He'll do better, I'll do better. We're having the same conversation we've always had.


Then before you know it, the song's over. That little boy is going to be grown and gone before I know it. (He's turning 3 tomorrow.)



Like I said, this song honestly made me cry. I stopped doing the dishes and gave my blue-eyed boy a hug.


"Running with Angels" is another one that brought tears to my eyes. (I won't make you click on it.) But I could hear the pace of a runner in it. Steady. It's easy at first. Methodical. After a while, it gets harder. Maybe you're running uphill. Maybe you're just out of shape. But that moment of strength comes, and you feel like you've got an angel there, giving you what you need.

The hymns that Sherrie chose to arrange are some of my favorites. "Love at Home" is beautiful. That song always makes me think of the story about the mom who'd start playing that song whenever her children started fighting. I'll have to teach my kids the words to the song for that to be effective, I suppose. "I am a Child of God/Families can be Together Forever," is simply perfect. It was the other tear-jerker for me. I can rarely sing/think of the words to "Together Forever" without getting misty-eyed. And of course "Come Thou Fount/If you could Hie to Kolob." Gorgeous hymns that go together perfectly.

Basically.......you need your own CD of Sherrie's music. You can enter her giveaway, but you gotta hurry. It ends Sunday. (She's even giving away sheet music!) Or, you could play it safe and simply buy your own copy. Because as great as the handy-dandy player from reverbnation is, it doesn't have all the songs from the CD. And you need to hear them all. Whenever you want. I've used the CD to put kids to sleep in the car. I used it last Sunday to make my home more peaceful.

I even listened to it this morning as I was cleaning my house. Usually I just listen to the radio when I do that, but I love Sherrie's music so much I chose it over my favorite radio station. And I actually got more done that I normally do.

Just another way Sherrie helps me be a better person.

Funnest camping trip EVER!!!

So, we have these friends. We play Rockband with them. It's about the only part of our relationship I really enjoy.

They're also outdoorsy. They've taken us kayaking. They want us to go rappelling with them. But after our camping experience this past weekend, I'm thinking that might not be such a good idea.

They invited us to go camping with them for Memorial Day weekend. We decided we would go up to the campground Friday evening and come home Saturday afternoon. We were going to meet at their house around 5:30.

We were there a few minutes early. They were ready to go, but we had to wait on one more person. And we HAD to wait for her because the property we were going to camp on belonged to her boyfriend. And her car wouldn't be able to make the drive.

So we waited. We ordered pizza. We called her. Sent texts. Called again. Got a hold of her. Were told it would be a while -- she'd got stuck at work.

TWO HOURS LATER, she shows up. We left at 7:20. On our hour and a half drive.

30 minutes in, we blew a tire. We blew a tire. I knew that we needed new tires. I've been telling Superman for about a month now that we really need to take care of it. (Just that afternoon, the car was shaking at FORTY mph.) But he thought we'd be okay. I tried really REALLY hard not to say "I told you so," but I couldn't stop myself. Could you?

So. We change the tire. And realize that our other front tire is dangerously bald as well. Because they alignment's off, the outside of the tire looked okay, but the inside had wires poking out.

Bad news bears.

Fortunately, we were about 5 miles from a decent-sized town. There were four tire shops on Main/only Street. Unfortunately, it was EIGHT O'CLOCK and none of them were open.

We decided to continue because, really, what else could we do?

~~I know. We could've just GONE HOME. But that would require disappointing friends, which is something Superman and I are simply not programmed to do. Is ridiculous, but sadly true.

So on we went. At 50 mph. With many cars piling up behind us. (If you were stuck behind a slow-moving Accent in Duschene County last Friday, please accept my sincerest apologies.)

1.5 hours later, we reach the property. It's a dirt road. Translation: B A D for tire living on borrowed time. Fortunately, some of the people we were to be camping with were expecting us and were there to meet us on their Rhinos. Not real rhinoceroses. Don't be silly. For those of you not in the know, Rhinos are a hybrid of golf carts and four-wheelers. They don't have horns. I don't really know why they're called Rhinos.

Unfortunately, their drivers weren't exactly sober. I mean, they weren't rip-roaring drunk, but they were driving with open Buds in their hands. Not exactly a comforting sight.

We loaded the gear from our car and a few adults from the other car into the back of the Rhinos. Superman and I got into our friends' SUV and loaded the kids on our laps for the final 10 minutes of the journey.

We got there without incident and began to set up the tent. Spiderman and the Hulk went to the campfires, where Superman got them some smores. 45 minutes later, kids are all sleeping soundly. Adults are enjoying the campfire.

I confess, this was the highlight of the trip. It's not often that I'm around a campfire with complete strangers who've got a few drinks in them. It was entertaining, to say the least. And I do love me some smores. My "dinner" consisted of a Diet Dr. Pepper, small package of Red Vines, and 3 smores. Eatin' good in the neighborhood!

It was probably about 1 by the time we were in bed and asleep. And freezing our TAILS off. Holy cow. Now, Superman and I usually do a little cuddling whilst we pillow talk at night, but separate for the actual going-to-sleep part. (I know. So romantic.) Not that night. We needed all the warmth we could get. I'm cold just thinking about it.

Sometime in the middle of the night, it started to lightly rain. And the kids started rolling around. I'd jump every time they moved, worried they were going to wake up freezing cold and crying. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but we were sharing the tent with our friends. It was a big two-room tent, yet still one dwelling. Our kids waking up crying could easily wake them and/or their children, as well.

So between the rain, my restless children, the other kids crying, and dogs in the tent howling (yes, I'm completely serious), I'd say I lost a good hour or more of sleep.

Lucky for me, the Hulk stayed true to form -- he woke at 6:45, ready for the day.

Again, I'm dead serious.

I got up with him. What else could I do? He kept whining that he wanted to watch Star Wars Clone Wars. The kid's obsessed. I kept saying, "I KNOW you want to watch Star Wars. We'll watch it when we get home." He'd just repeat his request even louder. "Do you see a TV in here, Hulk? We can't watch Star Wars right now!! We will at home!" To which he'd start to yell that he wanted to watch Star Wars.

So I got him and myself up and dressed. I didn't want him to wake up everyone else in the tent.

2 hours later, the rest of the campers start to wake. We FINALLY got breakfast.

Oh, did I mention it was still raining? 'Cuz it was. Lightly, but still raining. After breakfast just about everyone went out on the rhinos and four-wheelers. Everyone except us. We just hung around camp. In the rain. It was fun.

Finally about 11:00 we started playing Dominos to pass the time. Around noon we made some sandwiches for the kids. I asked Superman when we were leaving.

"Well, we told them we'd probably head out sometime after noon, and it's........12:04. You ready?"

Heck yes.

I had already packed our stuff. We got our friend to drive us down the mountain, and we drove to the nearest Les Schwab to get two new tires.

And they tell us that we have to replace ALL of our tires.

An hour and $383 later, we've got all new tires and no more fun plans for the rest of our summer. Lame.



Later that evening, I told Superman that I wasn't sure we should do outdoorsy things with these specific friends anymore.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah.......I mean, our first kayaking experience wasn't so great, then I nearly DIED the next time we went. And then all this."

"So, you honestly think there's some kind of fate or cosmic force or something telling us not do stuff with them?"

"Well, not literally. Obviously. I'm sure it's okay to still play RockBand. But can you imagine going rappelling with them? I can just see someone messing up a knot and you crashing to your death! Not exactly something I want to see happen. Yet."

So. How was your Memorial Day?!

I didn't plan on doing a Memorial Day post, but after what I've seen, I have to.

Flipping between TLC and Comedy Central tonight, I hit the National Geographic channel. It is not one of my normal channels. At all. But there were soldiers. They were in the Middle East, and they were talking to Middle Easterners. And I got sucked in.

I don't know that many of you know this, but Superman was in the Army Reserves. He signed up at the end of 1999, a few months before turning 18 and graduating from high school. (He actually signed up just a few weeks before our first date.) He went to BASIC during the fall of 2000, then left on his church mission to Taiwan in May of 2001. As you know, 9/11 was just a few months later.

Fortunately, he was able to stay in Taiwan. His detachment in Kansas was deployed, but since he was in the inactive reserve, he didn't have to go. When he came home in June of 2003, he transferred to the military police unit here in Utah. At the time, they were deployed to Kuwait. But since he wasn't with them when they deployed, he didn't have to go over there. It was pretty small for a while, but the unit came home just a few months after he joined. (Also, his original unit in Kansas was deployed again. He miraculously missed 3 possible deployments.)

Now, I have some issues with the US Army. They owe us several thousand dollars because of mistakes they made. Superman didn't want to do anything while he was in the Army because he was afraid they'd do something to him. And he thinks it will be an utter waste of time to pursue it now since he's out of the army. For the record, he was told that if he re-upped for another 2 years, he'd get everything promised. We decided it wasn't worth the risk.

Alright.............I really didn't mean to go into all that history. Just wanted to explain the connection I have to our soldiers. And that despite my issues, I still feel very deeply about the men and women who serve our country.

Anyway, the Nat Geo special. It was on the Green Berets. They were in Afghanistan, fighting the Taliban. When I flipped to the special, there were a bunch of Afghan elders who had come to the Green Berets, wanting to help get the Taliban out of their villages. Many of them had lost family and friends to the Taliban, or in firefights with the US soldiers.

They showed the men on patrols and on base, in their off-time. E-mailing or calling their families, watching TV. Working out to relieve stress. They showed a Taliban execution that had been recorded.

And I was just so..............mad. And heartbroken. There are so many who have lost loved ones in the violence there. To the Taliban executions, to the hostility between Taliban and American forces. To illness and disease. And then to think of the soldiers who've lost their lives. And the families they left behind..........................

Like I said: it breaks my heart. And it makes me mad. I can't believe we're still fighting over there. But none of the soldiers who are fighting are doing it against their will. They all believe in what they're fighting for. They want to preserve the lives of their countrymen, and their fellow soldiers.

They showed the unit going on a patrol through hostile territory. There was an IED that some locals had found and brought to them. (A $100 reward is offered for any brought in.) The unit was headed up to a hilltop to camp that night. As they were on the convoy, they were monitoring Taliban chatter over the radio. It became apparent that the Taliban knew exactly where they were. They were being watched.

On the way, they stopped and raided a known Taliban compound. Just a few weeks before, explosives and the makings of IEDs were found there. They went in and looked around, but found nothing. However, they lost valuable time getting to the hilltop where they planned to camp. They had less than an hour till the sun set.

As they approached the hilltop, they sent dogs out to sniff for IEDs. The dogs found one. They attached explosives to it, backed up several hundred yards, and blew it up. That explosion revealed yet another IED. So they blew it up. 7 IEDs were found in all. They took care of all of them, then proceeded to the top of the hill.

Some of the film crew were on the first truck that went up. They filmed the other trucks headed up. And then one hit an IED. There was a bright flash, then the camera fell and went black.


(I actually flipped the channel just then, anticipating what would happen. I started watching Jon & Kate + 8. But it just felt so wrong. Watching this normal{ish} American family, while others were dying. I didn't want to watch anymore, but I felt so compelled to know what had happened.)


2 soldiers died from the explosion. 5 others were seriously injured -- 2 of which were part of the Nat Geo film crew. The two who died were both naturalized US citizens. They were Americans by choice. One had been married just under 6 years, and had two children.

Just like Superman.

Like I said: I didn't plan on doing a Memorial Day post. My grandfathers fought in wars, but neither of them died there. I do not know anyone personally who has died fighting a war. I didn't want to trivialize the sacrifices so many have made by doing a cliche Memorial Day post. (Not that others I know have done that...........I'm just sayin'.)

But after watching that special, I just felt like I had to share my thoughts. I am so, so grateful Superman never had to be in combat. I don't even want to think about the men I know from his unit who still face the reality of being deployed at anytime. And their families.

I am so grateful to all the men and women who daily put their lives on the line so that I and my family are safe tonight. They do it knowing they may not make it home. And their families live and struggle with that reality every day. So many have lost husbands and fathers, wives and mothers. Sons and daughters. So many struggle with debilitating injuries and depression.

(I can barely see the screen right now for the tears pouring down my face.)

I struggle with looking at the big picture. I know the soldiers there are fighting for things they believe in, but I just can't see beyond the loved ones they leave behind.

I guess that today, I'm grateful to all those who look at the big picture. They make my life possible. Tonight I will pray for them. And the families waiting for them to return home. Or painfully moving on without them.

I will remember them today.

This is a link to the Nat Geo blog post written by one of the film makers. It's worth the click.

My mission (for today, at least)

Today I find myself with a rare, slow Sunday. No choir practice, no enrightment or Scout committee meetings, no visit teaching appointments. After lunch, I curled up with the Ensign and some Red Vines. I decided to read that articles discussed in church today about the temple.

The first talk I looked was Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples by Gary E. Stevenson. He shared the story about his father asking his son if he thought they were lost. He looked around and spotted the temple. He said, "You are never lost when you can see the temple." I hope my children will feel the same way.

He invited all listening to take a mental tour of their homes. What do you see when you walk in? You all know what's on my walls, and I gave myself a mental pat on the back for having art work in my home that invited the Spirit. Then I read the next line. "How do you feel? Is it a place of love, peace, and refuge from the world, as is the temple?"

Umm........not quite. We just got back from an........interesting camping experience. (Post for another day, ladies. Don't worry.) I threw all our laundry into the wash to get the campfire smell out of them. The laundry's still sitting on my counch to be folded and put away. Bits of breakfast and lunch and mingled with legos and crayons are all over the living room floor. Dirty dishes sit in the sink. The bedrooms are beyond description.

So I decided to make my home more like the temple. At least for today. I have the time, and I think it's an appropriate Sabbath activity. I even turned on Sherrie's CD. It's definitely creates a temple-like environment. (More to come on that later, too!!) I'll be cleaning with the intent to beautify my home.

How was your Sabbath?

So much cooler online

Have you heard that song by Brad Paisley?

I got a good chuckle the first time I heard it, and the video's pretty funny. But I also thought it was fairly pathetic that for so many people, the song was true.


Then the other day, I realized that I'm one of those people.


I really do think I'm cooler online.


It's not like I'm a total loser who has an alternate personality on my blog. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

I'm not even that funny online. I think I'm actually funnier in person. (I'm more of a clever funny -- I have the witty comebacks, not the funny jokes and stories. In my own mind, at least. Who knows if that's true in real life.)

But I still feel like people like me more online! I mean SIXTY-FOUR followers?! Never in my wildest DREAMS did I think I'd ever reach a number CLOSE to that when Blogger came out with the followers thing. I thought I was big when I made it to twenty! (I know it's kinda tacky to talk about followers, but whatever. It's relevant.)


And some of the people who like me online? Wow. They are funny. They are eloquent. They are crafty. They are popular. They are published. They are wise. And they like me? They really LIKE me?! How did I manage to pull that off?!

Sometimes I wonder if they'd be friends with me in real life. Would I be too sarcastic for them? Too liberal? Too conservative? Too boring? Too fat? Too skinny? (I wish!)


And would all these supercool people be friends with me if we didn't blog together? (I realize that means we most likely would never have met, but pretend we did.) If they were just in my ward, would we be good friends? Or just people who smile and share surface chit-chat?

I guess blogging's just a shortcut to close friendship. It cuts out most of the "dating" portion of friendship and fast tracks to you the "seriously-committed" level. Don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Making friends is a lot like dating. Trying people on for size, arranging things to do together, trying to look interested but not desperate...........just like dating.

I suppose I'm just sick of the dating and ready for the seriously-committed part. And I'm glad that you and I share that kind of relationship. Or at least that you like to see what I'm up to without commenting. That's cool. At least I know I'm interesting, if only online.

What about you? Do you think you're cooler online?

I'm feeling sorry for myself today.

I hear the cure for that is a meme.

First of all, I'm grateful to be alive. I had a near-death experience kayaking the other day. We went out to practice tipping with someone who really knows what they're doing. It was controlled -- our teacher was tipping the boat, letting me know when and how to move my paddle, helping me up. It was actually kind of exhilarating. Nothing like immersing yourself in a freezing cold river to let you know you're alive. I felt like I was getting the hang of it.

After tipping a few times, he told me to paddle around and warm up. He started practicing with someone else, and she had a successful recovery, all on her own. I asked if she had pushed her paddle off the bottom of the river, and tried to demonstrate what I meant. Except I was deeper than I realized and just went under. My nose filled with water and I panicked. I forgot everything I had spent 10 minutes learning. All I could think was that I was gonna drown. I honestly thought, "I'll never see my kids again."

That thought jarred me to action. I realized that I knew how to get out. I just had to find the loophole and pull it, then push myself out. (Our instructor had each of us do this as soon as we got in the water.)

I found the loop, pulled, and surface. They guy teaching us had made it to where I was and helped hold the boat and my paddle, which I had let go of. (He said that was a strike against me. I was just glad to BE ALIVE. There's not a lot I can do when SURVIVAL INSTICTS kick in.)

I was pretty shaken up. I got out of the water and just went to look at my kids. I couldn't stop shaking, nor could I stop the tears that formed in my eyes. (Even now.) I calmed down after a few minutes and wanted to get back in to have a good experience before we finished. But everyone else was already pulling out.


It wasn't really a "near-death" experience, but it's definitely the closest to one I've ever come. And I'm grateful I made it out okay.

I'm also thankful for this moment:

Yay for Kris! It was a great show, and I think we all were truly shocked that he won. He sure was!!!

Lastly, I'm grateful for my mom. She's one of my best friends. We had a good talk this morning. I'm grateful we've always had such a great relationship. It's what makes me want a daughter so much. Love you, Mom.

Oh, and I'm grateful So You Think You Can Dance? starts tonight!!!!

What are you grateful for today?

Just a few things.....

........I was SHOCKED that Shawn won DWTS last night. Honestly. Melissa was my favorite. I was disappointed that she came in third, and knew Gilles had it in the bag. I just didn't think Shawn had the fan base. I know other Olympians have won, but they were consistently at the top of the leader board. Shawn wasn't. My only consolation is that she and Mark were so shocked, too.

.........I hope Kris wins Idol. His first performance was definately his best last night, and I think Adam had a better night overall. I voted a lot last night, and about half of my calls were busy signals, or "all circuits are busy." Last night was the first time I voted this season. But honestly, I think both guys will have recording contracts. I don't know that it matters too much who wins, but I'm excited to watch tonight.

.........And did any of you watch Glee? I loved it!!! It's got a lot of humor, but it's also a serious show. And the musical numbers are so great. I was singing Journey the rest of the night. I think this is going to be a great show.

Have you watched any of these? Thoughts? What summer shows are you watching?

Things I've learned recently

• I can machine wash my microfiber couch cushion covers. I no longer have to spray them with Resolve, wipe down the entire cushion (to avoid watermarks) and let them airdry under the ceiling fan.

• I can machine wash my "spot-clean only" decor pillows. They are clean for the first time ever.

• Don't put your camera in your purse with a water-bottle that doesn't have a secure lid. It might get ruined forever. By the way, I only remembered to take the camera because I promised you pictures. So basically, it's your fault my camera's broken. I'll be setting up a pay-pay account for contributions. Thank you.

• Walk behind nice people into the renaissance faire and you might get two free tickets. (Thanks, random strangers!)

• Don't blog about being freaked out to lead your ward choir. It'll probably get pushed back another week.

• Verizon doesn't necessarily have the worst customer service. I was credited my last three months of overage charges because of a mistake they made, and I changed our plan to better suit our needs. Did you know that you can make changes to your plan at anytime without signing a new two-year agreement? (They should be paying me for this!) Seriously. It's possible to have positive experiences with Verizon!

• 92 degrees is too blasted hot for May.

• Twinkies don't taste as good as I remember. What a waste of 150 calories.

TGI random F!!!

I'm so glad it's Friday and I have an excuse to be random. I have a feeling this is going to be more random than normal. Ever since I "cut back" on blogging, I've been wanting to blog a lot more. All kinds of blog fodder running though my head all the time.

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Wouldn't it be cool if you could just think a post? So many times I'm laying in bed at night, and I have a million things floating through my head. Half of them would make good blog material. If I could just transfer my thought to blogger telepathically, my life would be a lot simpler. Seriously. Someone needs to get on that.

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I've been reading a lot of Nicholas Sparks lately. It makes me want to live in a small town in North Carolina. Almost. I'd need a Walmart. And the fact that he has hurricanes in almost every book freaks me out a bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched Calendar Girls the other night. It's interesting, but I enjoyed it. I hope I can look as good as Helen Mirren when I'm her age! I also loved her hair in that movie and want her hairstyle when I'm older.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We're into finale season! I hope Melissa wins DWTS. I'd be okay Gilles winning, though. Now that Kris has made it to the finale, I want him to win Idol! Talk about a dark horse. Loved the Smallville finale last night. Looks like Clark's ready to be Superman. And Grey's? I knew who John Doe was almost immediately. And I think he's gonna die. I'm not sure about Izzy. Loved the Office finale! Yay for PB&J!!!! And Michael was so......... not like Michael with regards to Holly. It's nice to see him maturing a bit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm leading our ward choir on Sunday. We're singing "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need." The couple who usually leads and accompanies us are playing the flute and oboe with us. We've only had 3 practices, but most of the choir knows the song. It's not difficult. But I'm still a little worried. I've only lead the choir once before, and it was a song we had practiced for months. I just hope everyone remembers what we discussed, and the accompanist has practiced enough, and that the oboe's in tune. If those things are done, we'll be okay. But I actually dreamed about it last night. I dreamed that I was late for the practice, and it wasn't until I was halfway there that I remembered I was directing. I freaked out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also dreamed about Joel McHale last night. He was in my house. Sitting at my kitchen table. (!) I was trying not to freak out and play it cool. I said, "So, I know a lot of people who are excited for your sit-com." He didn't respond. What's wrong? Maybe I shouldn't have called it a sit-com....I am SO not playing it cool!! "No, really," I rambled, "I could show you sidebar things saying they're excited!" Still no response. "Did you hear me?" I asked.

"Yeah. I heard you. Excited," he finally replied, not looking at me.

We had a short conversation along these lines. Then my alarm went off at 5:50 for me to meet a friend a go walking. I realized later our conversation was reminscent of one I'd had with Superman just hours before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is PAYDAY!!!!! My pantry is almost bare. The only snack food I have is Goldfish. We have enough of the essentials and dinner stuff, but we've been out of snack stuff for a while. I'd like to think it's made me lose a pound or two, but it's doubtful. I'm just consuming a lot of salt from the Goldfish. But I can't even tell how excited I am to go grocery shopping! I've been seriously chocolate deprived. I'm not going through physicall withdrawls, just mental ones. I'm probably going to end up with chocolate ice cream, Oreos, Junior Mints and chocolate Fiber One bars. And they'll probably all be gone by Monday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, I think that's it for today. And now for ten random tunes:

1. Heartless -- Kris Allen
2. Hello -- David Cook
3. Hero -- Enrique Iglesias
(wait, maybe this isn't on random....)
4. I want you to want me -- Letters to Cleo
5. Beautiful -- Faith Hill
6. Show me what I'm looking for -- Carolina Liar
7. My wish -- Rascall Flatts
8. You're never there -- Cake
9. Before it's too late -- Goo Goo Dolls
10. Take me out -- Franz Ferdinand

**Bonus: Are you gonna be my girl? -- Jet (One of my faves to sing on RockBand!)

~~~Find more randomness with Motherboard, Sher and Rachel~~~

Coming out of the closet

I have a confession.

I am a closet nerd.

Had you guessed that about me? I try to keep my nerdy side quietly hidden, but every now and then, it has to come out and make itself known.

Now, I'm not a HUGE nerd. I've never been to Comic Con. (If you don't know what that is, I guess I'm already a bigger nerd than you.) I've never watched Star Trek. I don't read the dictionary for fun.

But I have read a comic book. (Superman has quite a collection.) And I want to see the new Star Trek movie. (Chris Pyne is HOT!) And I do keep a dictionary next to the computer so I don't look like a completely idiotic blogger.

Other nerdy things? I love the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I've read The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. I started reading The Work and the Glory when I was ten. And loved them. I've always loved playing the piano. My mom never had to twist my arm to get me to practice.

But I think the biggest nerdy thing about me is that I like going to renaissance faires.

I've even gone in costume.

Let's take a moment for you to pick your jaw up off your keyboard while I seriously debate deleting this post.


I went to one in middle school on a field trip with my gifted class. (Yet another nerdy thing about me.) It was really fun. After Superman and I had been married for a year or two, we were bored one Saturday. We got online and looked for some local happenings. We saw that there was a renaissance faire happening that day about an hour and a half away from us. Superman got really excited. (Which is a bit unusal for him.) He was kinda hesitant in asking if I wanted to go, and was shocked when I said yes. (He's always been the bigger nerd.) (Love you, Supes!!)

But then he went a little crazy. He wanted to dress up. I was like, "What?! Seriously? Only the really big nerds do that!!" But he wanted to. He got his army boots and some pants he made slouchy and this shiny shirt that he had from another life and a leather vest with a belt over his shoulder......it was crazy.

(He actually bought a cape to wear, as well.)

At the time, I was about 9 mos. pregnant with the Hulk. So I had a legitimate reason not to dress up. Whew. Dodged that bullet.

The faire itself was kinda lame -- it was only in its first or second year. But it gave us the renaissance festival bug.

A couple of months later, when the Hulk was about 6 weeks old and Spiderman was under 2, we loaded up and drove EIGHT HOURS to one of the largest faires in the US. We left right after Superman got off work on Friday night. We drove the 8 hours and got a hotel room. By 10 the next morning, we were loaded and ready for the faire.

And it was INCREDIBLE. It was huge. I bought a costume. {shudder} (I had actually bought most of my costume before at a thrift store, but bought a corset there. On clearance, of course.) There must have been thousands of people there. Hundreds of vendors.

I admit that I felt like an idiot in my costume. And pushing a double stroller around the rutted dirt roads. But it was so much fun!! And there were so many others in costume that it wasn't that bad. We saw a hypnotist, a royal procession, a comedian, and a joust. A JOUST. There were four knights who "fought to the death.." It was amazing. They were funny, and the fights were really well choreographed.

We left around 5 that evening and drove back home because we had church responsibilities the next day.

I know. We are hard core.

This weekend is the faire that's pretty close to us. We decided we want to go -- our boys are old enough that they'll remember and really enjoy it. And there are more and more people every year, and the acts get better and better. I was debating whether or not I would wear my costume, but then I learned that wearing a costume gets you a half price ticket.

I'm not about to pay full price for something if I don't have to. I guess I value a good deal more than my own dignity.

So guess who's going to be the lady of the manor this Saturday with her adventuring husband and knight and pirate sons?


I'll try to get a picture so you can all blackmail me later.

Deciphering two-year-old dialect

WW: Hulk, do you want to take your jacket off?
H: No, I want to leave it off.
WW: So you want to leave it on?
H: No, I want to leave it off.
WW: You want to take it off?
H: No, I want you to take it off!!
WW: Oh. You want me to take it off?
H: YEAH!!!

WW: Oh. Silly me. Sorry I didn't understand.

Coldplay + Taylor Swift + Jon Schmidt = FREAKING AWESOME

This just might blow your mind. Consider yourself warned.




I love it! I love the Taylor Swift song, I just don't like hearing her sing it. (I think she's a great song-writer, I'm just not crazy about her voice.) And of COURSE I'm a fan of the Viva la Vida. The two together are incredible. Did you stay tuned for him talking about his daughter? How sweet was that?

I just think these two songs are so perfect together.

Judge Judy

In response to my own question.......No. I do not think it's okay to judge your children.

As I mentioned in my last post, we talked in RS last week about avoiding unrighteous judgements. It was a great lesson, and I really liked what the teacher had to say. We briefly mentioned judging our children, and the general consensus was that it wasn't just okay for us to judge our children, but that it was part of our job as mothers.


However, thinking about it later, I realized that it wasn't sitting very well with me. Mostly the terminology. I think we need to teach our children what is right. (Obviously.) Along with that, when they make mistakes, it can (at times) be up to us what the consequences will be. Situations vary child to child, and most definately as children age.


When our children are young, we don't judge them. I can't imagine a mother who would "judge" her five-year-old for swearing. Or lying. Mostly because she needs to be teaching them what's right and wrong. However, as they grow, things change. It's a different matter when it's your fifteen-year-old who's swearing and lying. Yes, it's your job to teach them, but they know better, (or should, by that age!)

Okay, writing this post is freaking me out. It's so serious. I'm going to stop trying to word everything just right and spit it out!

Basically, I never want my children to feel judged by me. If they make choices I don't approve of, I hope I can communicate my feelings and opinions without them feeling like I disapprove of them personally. There may be times I have to "sit in judgement" and decide punishments, but I hope my children always know that no matter their choices, I love them 110%. I'm not saying I'll support my childrens' poor choices. But to borrow from the cliche, it's possible to "love the sinner and hate the sin."

I pray that when the time comes (because I'm sure it will), I can effectively communicate my disapproval of the choices my children made but also my unwavering love for them.

Inquiring minds want to know.....

Is it okay to judge your children?

We talked about judging last week in Relief Society and I'm curious what your thoughts are. For clarification: Would you call it judging when it comes to your children? How does their age affect it? Does their age affect it? Is "righteous" judgment okay when it comes to your children? Is there such a thing?

I'll share my thoughts later.

She

Click on this link. It'll take you to a song by Cherie Call called "She."

(I'm experiencing technical difficulties today. They player they had would only play 30 seconds of the song, so you get a link. If it replaces my window, you can come back and read the rest of the message, or just know that I love you and call it good!)

Go ahead. Play the song. Well, get a tissue first. Then hit play. And listen.

(This is the song I sang for our RS birthday dinner a few months ago. I compiled pictures of most the women in the ward into a slideshow for this song. I struggled to get through it. It would be just as challenging for me to sing this song with all your pictures in front of me.)

I hope you know that I think you are amazing. You don't have to be perfect. Just try a little harder to be a little better every day. Heaven is smiling above you. I love you.

What you do MATTERS. God has trusted you (or will trust you) with his precious children. He'll help you.

(artwork by liz lemon swindle)

Through all the ups and downs of motherhood,

it's still the greatest work on earth.

Nothing you do will ever matter more.

Have a marvelous Mother's Day, my friends.

Perspective

I got a good dose of it yesterday.

It was a beautiful day. I decided to take the kids to the park in the afternoon. They had fun, but about the time they were ready to leave, some friends of mine showed up with their kids. I got another 20 minutes out of the boys, but they were hot and tired and cranky. We left before I really wanted to, and I let it affect my mood the rest of the day.

I didn't want to cook dinner. Or pick up the house. Or be an attentive mother. Then I got some surprising news that just furthered my bad mood. Superman was only home for about 15 minutes before he had to leave for a dog training, which meant I was alone with the kids for the second time two evenings in a row.

I watched Smallville (boring) and Grey's Anatomy (surprise!) while getting the kids ready for bed. A commercial came on with Michael J. Fox, saying there was going to be a TV special based on his book, Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. I was intrigued and pleased to see that it would be on right after Grey's Anatomy.

5 minutes into the special, I had tears in my eyes. I'd been so ungrateful all day. If a man suffering from degenerative Parkinson's can be an incurable optimist, surely I can find something to get happy about. It was a welcome slap in the face.

The special was fantastic. (You should seriously click on the link to see a preview.) He talked to dairy farmers in upstate New York who started their own co-op to be able to keep their livelihoods. He talked about the Chicago Cubs, and how despite a centery of heartbreak, they always believe this is the year they're gonna do it.

He went to a country called Bhutan, where they don't just measure their gross national product, but they measure their gross domestic happiness. (In fact, the man he talked to said that the GDP was the means, and the GDH was the end.) Making sure their citizens are happy is a main focus of the Bhutanese government. Incredible, huh?

He played golf with Bill Murray. A man who never has complete control of his body movements was enjoying a round of golf. And he was honestly enjoying it.

At one point, Michael J. Fox said, "If I could do everything, I'd have no reason to hope."

Talk about having the right perspective.

p.s. I wasn't going to talk about this today. Or even at all. I had made notes that I was going to pull from for a random Friday post. Most of them were from yesterday when I was being so cynical. But then I read this post from the lovely Fiauna. And instead of hijacking her comments, I just decided to do a post about it. Thanks, girlie.

A completely fictional kayaking tale

Once upon a time, a girl named Linda went kayaking with her friend Anastasia. Linda had never been kayaking before, and when she agreed to go, she didn't really know what she was getting herself into. She had been rafting down a mild river once, and foolishly thought kayaking would be a similar experience.

Linda and Anastasia were family women -- they each had a husband and children. Which always complicates things.

The families had decided to meet around 5 p.m. one evening. Linda made special preparations to be there on time. She packed a picnic dinner and picked her husband up from work, then hurried to the meeting place -- a park next to the river. At the time, her youngest was sleeping, so she decided to stay with him in the car and read a book while her husband took their oldest to play at the park and wait for the other kayakers.

An hour later, the other family showed up. Linda's baby was still asleep, so she continued to stay in the car since the men wanted to kayak first. Consequently, she didn't see the men preparing for their trip.

A few minutes after the men-folk left, Linda's child woke up. The two of them went to the park to see Anastasia and the children. They snacked on their dinner and played for a long time at the park. A good time was being had by all.

But then Anastasia started complaining about her husband. {groan}

"He has no sense of time-management!! He was supposed to leave work
at 4, so he could come get us, load up, and be hear by 5. But nnnoooo, he had to
wait till FIVE to leave!! And of course he got caught in traffic, just like
I knew he would. If he would've just LISTENED to me, we wouldn't have been
so late!!!

"And then of course, he HAS to go first. 'Gotta be the man and look
out for obstacles!' Ugh. Like he's the more experienced kayaker. He
went seven times last summer and thinks he's an expert. I'm the one who went every day when I lived in Alaska! But nnnoooo, he's
gotta go first to make sure the way is clear.

"I can't believe they're not back yet!! I wanted to be in the water by 7:30, and they aren't even back! We may not get to go because the sun's setting soon. Ooh, I'm so mad at him. If he would've just listened to me and left when I told him, it would've been fine!! And I wanted to go first!"

It was quite a tirade.

Linda didn't know exactly what to say.

Around 7:45, the husbands showed up. Linda, Anastasia, and their children went over to talk to them and help them get out of their gear.

And that's when Linda realized she was in trouble.

Her first surprise came when she realized kayaks were not like rafts. They are made out of fiberglass. They only hold one person. ONE PERSON. What? I'm going to be in the boat by myself?! Linda thought. Then she saw the helmets, the wetsuits, the life jackets. She realized she and her husband had been vastly under-prepared in wearing jeans and tennis shoes.

Linda's husband, Clark, was soaked from head to toe. He had pulled off hiswetsuit, but for some reason, he wore all his clothes under it!! By a stroke of luck, there were extra shoes and jackets in the car, so he didn't catch hypothermia. But again, Linda realized she was in trouble.

Linda put the wetsuit Clark had used on over her small clothes. She was pleasantly surprised that the chill she felt when putting on the suit quickly went away and she was quite warm. She started to put on the jacket, kayaking skirt, life jacket and helmet while talking to Clark.

"So how was it? Did you have fun? Did you tip?"

Clark informed her that he had in fact tipped twice.

"WHAT?!" Again, the surprise and fear is really starting to be impressed upon Linda. She turned to her children and said, "Boys, uh, if I never see you again, I love you!"

She was only half joking.

She also started to fervently pray.

Linda and Anastasia were fully suited up by now, and began to lug their kayaks to the river. Anastasia's husband, Micheal, was giving Linda a crash course.

"If you tip, don't panic. NEVER panic. Don't let go of your paddle.
Otherwise you're literally up a creek without a paddle. If you're under and
can't get yourself back up, just pull this little loop. It'll let you out of the
kayak. Oh! Don't let the kayak scrape on the cement! You gotta pick it up all
the way right here. Now, there's a place where a log has fallen across the whole
river. But it's high enough that you can go under it. Just duck and don't panic.
And there's some falls almost right away here, but just keep your nose straight
and you'll be fine. And DON'T let go of your paddle. Any questions?"

"Uh........nope. Don't let go of my paddle. Got it. Wait. What do I do if I go under? Pull this loop thingy?""

"Yup. You'll do fine!" he says.

They reach the river bed. Linda follows Anastasia's lead and climbs into her kayaking. She pulls her kayak skirt over the rim of the kayak, effectively attaching her to the kayak and keeping water out. She is still praying fervently.

Michael pushes the kayaks into the river, and away they go.

About a minute into the journey, they reach some small falls. They really were small. More of a dip in the river than "falls." Anastasia tells Linda to keep her nose straight, and just ride it out.

Linda does just that. Finds it a bit exhilarating. She's starting to think this is going to be fun and easier than she thought.

But another minute later, Anastasia tried to slow down and bit and get closer to Linda. She started heading for the side of the river, then hit a log and tipped.

Linda didn't know what to do. She didn't panic. She briefly considered going to the side and trying to wait for her friend, but she knew she wouldn't be able to do anything, and would probably tip herself. Which she did NOT want to have happen.

A second later, Anastasia popped up. She was smiling with her paddle in hand, saying to go ahead and that she would catch up.

So Linda kept going. The river was moving pretty slowly, and Linda knew she'd be fine for a few minutes on her own. There are many homes that back up to one side of the river and a running trail on the other side, so she knew if something happened, she could probably yell and get help quickly.

A few moments later, Linda spotted another small falls ahead. But she didn't panic. Linda can be pretty good at keeping her head, if need be. She straightened out her nose and went over the falls with no problem. I'm doing great! she thought.

After another 5 minutes, Linda's felt like she'd been on her own for a long time. Shouldn't Anastasia have caught up by now? Maybe I should try to stop and wait for her, Linda thought.

The river was still moving slowly. She started to come around a bend and saw that there was a bridge and a drain that had been blocked off on one side of the river. It was like a small bay, and there was some rebar sticking out of the concrete wall. Linda knew that if she could make it there, she's be able to hold on and wait for Anastasia.

She paddled to that side and was headed straight for the concrete. She turned her kayak to the side and hit the wall with a gentle thud. Linda quickly grabbed hold of the rebar, intensely impressed with her mad kayaking skills and ability to keep her head in a crisis. I can SSOOOO do this, Linda though with a smirk.

A few joggers ran by on the trail over head and looked at Linda, clearly wondering if she needed any help. Linda smiled and waved, saying she was fine and just waiting for someone. She was facing upriver so she's be able to see Anastasia coming.

A few minutes later, there was no sign of Anastasia. Linda was a bit concerned, but knew there wasn't a whole lot she could do. She decided to yell out, "ANASTASIA!!! I'M OKAY!!!!!" in case her friend was close and worried about her.

Another couple of minutes, and still no sign of Anastasia. Linda realized her fervent yelp had been pointless and felt a bit ridiculous. She began to fervently pray again.

Then finally, Anastasia came around the bend! Yay! She's alive! Whew, Linda thought. Anastasia began babbling that she was so sorry and she'd had a hard time getting situated and back into the river on her own. Linda let go of the wall and turned around to start heading down the river again.

As soon as she turned around, she realized they were already in trouble again. Not 30 feet ahead of her, a log was blocking half the river. It was on the same side she'd stopped on. (Remember, she had been facing upstream and didn't realize this was just ahead of her.) Several smaller logs and debris had collected behind the log.

Linda quickly started to head for the other side, attempting to get around the log. Then she realized that Anastasia was heading straight for it. Linda knew her friend wasn't going to be able to avoid it.

Linda had a choice to make, and fast. She could either try really hard to get to the other side and keep going, or get stuck with Anastasia. She knew she'd have to work hard and quickly if she wanted to avoid the log, but she knew there was a good chance she'd still hit it and go under.


She decided to head for her friend and the log. She didn't want to continue without her again, and sincerely doubted she'd be able to find a safe place to pull over and wait again. Linda figured it was better to head for the accidental dam, knowing she'd be stopping.


Just as Linda decided to head for her friend, Anastasia went under. Again. Her kayak hit the log and she wasn't able to stay afloat. She was under for just a second, then popped up, swearing because she'd lost her paddle.

By now, Linda had reached Anastasia and the log. She started to really rock as she hit the log and debris, but managed not to tip. Thank you, Father!!

Anastasia was still freaking out about her paddle. She was actually going to attempt to walk/swim downstream a bit and find it. But she quickly realized that it was long gone. She'd never be able to find it and decided just to stay put. Much to Linda's relief.

So there they were, two helpless maidens stuck in the river. Only one paddle between the two of them. Anastasia's kayak was half submerged. Fortunately this was 2009 and Anastasia had her cell phone in a plastic safe box attached to the kayak. She called the men-folk, who had already planned to load the children into the cars and follow along with them.

They arrived within minutes. They helped the girls out of the river. While Linda was just happy she hadn't tipped and drowned in the river, Anastasia was near tears because she had lost the paddle.

"I can't believe I let go of the paddle. I've never done that before. And after I made such a big deal about being the more experience kayaker.........." Anastasia then huffily folded her arms against her chest, leaned back against the car, stuck out her bottom lip and pouted. Seriously. She looked just like her four-year-old daughter.

Linda and Clark struggled not to laugh.

Anastasia kept apologizing for what had happened. Linda assured her that it wasn't a big deal and not to worry about it. She had fun while it lasted. Anastasia promised that the next time they went, the girls would go first.

Linda's still not sure there's going to be a next time.

It was fun, but would you go again after an experience like that?

Tuesday Confessional

I'm linkin' up to that goddess Heather for this one.

My confessions today:

• I broke the lawnmower. I mowed over a stump yesterday. It's one I've mowed over before, but because I lowered the blade I had problems. I bought a new blade today and tried to replace it myself. I just ended up with oil and gasoline being leaked everywhere. THIS is why I don't do things I don't know how to do!!!!!!

• I made some cards last week and sent them off to the people who won my giveaway. One of the tutorials called for sanding of the cardstock. I have no sandpaper. I tried a fresh dish scouring pad, but it didn't work. So I tried my pumice stone. It worked better than the scouring pad, but not as well as sandpaper.

• I hope that wench Helen leaves Biggest Loser tonight. Any mother who puts her own selfish wants above those of her child does NOT deserve to win anything. (She let her daughter leave the ranch. Her daughter only left because she knew how much her mother wanted to stay.)

• As soon as I posted about not being as into blogging, I've wanted to blog more. What a fickle woman. On the upside, I've realized that I don't have to post everyday!! Isn't that aMAYzing?!

Thoughts on weeds

Over the last two weeks, I've done a lot of weeding. Now before you start thinking I'm all domestic and have a green thumb, know that these weeds were dandelions. I was weeding my yard, not a garden.

I even took a picture for you.

(Yes, that's my rustic red barn next to a shimmering blue lake. How dare you assume I lifted this off google images?!)

My lawn wasn't quite this bad, but almost. And I decided to pull them. I really didn't think it was take me more than a few hours to remove the dandelions from my exceptionally small front yard.

I was wrong.

I spent days pulling the weeds. I couldn't make myself do more than 2 hours at a time. I got a sunburn from the pulling of the weeds. A small blister started to form beneath my wedding ring. I was using my palm to push the weed puller into the ground, and I got a bruise.

Most of the time I was out there, I was thinking, "Abnoxious weeds! Why is it so easy for them to grow? Why doesn't the grass grow like weeds do?"

And I had a small epiphany.

It's easy for evil things to thrive when nothing is stopping them. Easier than it is for the righteous things. The righteous things take work. There's not enough grass seed in my yard. In that vacuum, weeds grow. All on their own.

If our lives aren't full of righteous things we choose to fill our lives with, other things start slipping in that aren't as good. And it's easy for those to consume our lives if we aren't careful. (No, I'm not talking specifially about blogging, though it can easily consume our lives if we aren't careful.)

Take for example my scripture blog. Throughout January and most of February, I did great. I read my scriptures and posted almost every day. Now........everytime I adjust my layout, I consider deleting the link, or at least moving it or changing it so it won't say when it was last updated. But the guilt I feel when I look at it is healthy-- I feel like I can't remove my motivator.

I haven't been reading my scriptures, and what has snuck in? I'm actually blogging less than usual, but I've been reading a LOT of books. I've probably read 12 books in the last 3 weeks. Instead of reading my scriptures over breakfast, I read a book.

So. Moral of the story: Are there weeds in your life? Are they blocking out the grass, the flowers? And what are you going to do about it?

A step back in time

My friend Kiera did a photoshoot the other day.

This girl continues to amaze me. I just love every single photo she takes. You should see the rest of her stuff from this shoot. The man in the photo is from the Soiux tribe, and he's a cultural dancer at BYU with his wife.

Seriously, go check out this photo session. If it's important enough for me to come back from my hiatus and tell you about it, you should GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF.

Alright. I'll stop being bossy. And I just might post something in the next day or two. (I told you I had problems with commitment. I can't even commit to not being committed.)