Two truths and a lie

And you get to guess which ones are which!

Y'all ready for this?!


1. I'm the only girl my husband has kissed in 9 years.
2. He's the only boy I've kissed in 9 years.
3. I've only kissed 2 boys.

1. I've played the organ in every ward I've lived in since I was 12.
2. I've played the organ in 5 different wards.
3. I've taken organ lessons from someone who plays in the Conference Center.

1. I was an all-star cheerleader.
2. We went off soda pop for cheer camp one year and I didn't have any carbonation for 13 months.
3. I was a cheerleader through all of middle and high school.

1. I've worked at Dairy Queen.
2. I've worked at Chili's.
3. I've worked at Home Depot.

1. I've met Elder Cook.
2. I've met Elder Bednar.
3. I've met Elder Perry.

1. I've given birth sans epidural.
2. I've given birth with an epidural.
3. I've had a c-section.

So guess away!! How well do you think know me?

May or May Not Have

I may or may not have met Annette Lyon this weekend. It's possible that we stood around sampling truffles as we discussed potty-training, her next book, and the joys of motherhood.

I may or may not have walked to church yesterday morning and got slightly warm in my coat, then walked out 3 hours later to find a BLIZZARD. Inches on the ground. I may or may not have been slightly bitter about it. (Luckily, Superman drove, so we didn't have to walk home in it! The boys didn't even have jackets!!)

I may or may not have played RockBand for nearly 5 hours yesterday at some friends' house. It's possible that our children fell asleep there, so we may have stayed till almost midnight.

I may or may not have dreamed of RockBand last night.

I may or may not have colored my hair on Friday. I may have been scared of going too blonde, and therefore left the color on for the bare minimum amount of time. Which may or may not have resulted in me being dissatisfied with the results, wishing my hair was lighter.

I may or may not be incredibly excited for my in-laws to come and stay with us next week!!

Reminder

Did you remember to get your red envelope?

(In protest of FOCA.)

We're sending them tomorrow........

You know what I'm sick of?

The word economy.

Thighs that have always touched.

Children that refuse to catch on to potty training.

Dirty underwear. (Resulting from the non-potty-training child.)

Spelling errors that I don't catch and leave up for days.

Doing the dishes.

Children that find lightbulbs and use them as baseball bats while I do the dishes.

Raging hormones.

Winners!

I was going to take a picture of the names I drew, but the batteries in my camera are completely dead, and I have no others.

So you'll just have to take my word for it. The winners are:

Michelle

Ashlee

and Melissa B.

Congratulations, ladies!! I'll be sending you something spectacular and homemade by Christmas!! Send your home addresses to eppermay at juno dot com and remember, now it's YOUR turn to host a pay-it-forward giveaway!!!

I can never come up with catchy titles. This is about guilt, and husbands.

Do any of you SAHMs out there ever feel guilty? Like, guilty that you get to stay at home in your pj'sand blog and do some laundry and dishes and play with you kids while your husband works? Superman's job has been incredibly stressful lately and he's had a hard time making himself get out of bed and go to work. In fact, he showed me this commercial today, saying it was probably bad that it described his life so well.



The small animal bit is especially true.

Anyway........it makes me want to be a self-mutilator or something (like the Albino in The DaVinci Code) to make our lives equally sucky.

Am I alone in this? Before his job got as stressful as it is right now and we'd have those "who has it worst conversations," I could put up a pretty good argument. I had two kids in diapers. Had to do the dishes every day. All the laundry, mopping, grocery shopping on a budget........perhaps it was a different kind of challenging, but challenging nonetheless.

Now, however, I only have 1 in diapers. And I'm really working on getting him out of them. (Which I guess is another point for me on the "challenging" side, but whatever.) The boys keep each other entertained all day. I get to blog, and go to playdates, and the library, and the park. I get to go shopping, watch Vh1 while I fold laundry, and read books. Sure, I have to do a load of dishes each day, but how hard is that, really? And most the time, I enjoy fixing dinner.

So basically, I feel guilty. His job is intensely stressful. (I know I've used that word a couple of times, but I just can't think of a better one.) It's a battle for him all day, every day. And I.......blog. And play games with my kids.

Have you ever felt guilty for having it easier (for a time, at least?)

Tower of Strength

My friend Annette Lyon's newest book, Tower of Strength, is out in stores right now. I have to be completely honest -- I haven't read the book yet. Besides Wonder Woman, another name I go by is "El Cheapo" and I just haven't been able to purchase of copy of it yet. BUT I have read two others books Annette has written. (The only ones that weren't checked out at the local library. I've been back a few times, and they're all checked out now!!)

One of the books I read was actually from her temple series, as is Tower of Strength. I believe it was book #2, but I wasn't lost at all in the storyline. It totally stood on it's own. And it was fantastic. I loved learning the little-known history, and I loved the characters. They were truly unique and completely original.

I missed the opportunity to meet Annette in person last month, but I've just discovered that she's going to be doing some book signings in Utah County this Saturday! (American Fork Seagull book from 10-noon, and North Orem Seagull from 1-3.) I just happen to have some spare cash and plan on buying the book, meeting Annette and making it totally awkward by asking for her autograph!!

Anyone want to join me?!

p.s. be sure to check out my giveaway just below. I'll be drawing winners tomorrow morning!

First ever GIVEAWAY!!!!

I'm sure most of you have seen this around the blogland, and I've finally jumped on the band wagon. Or have been pushed on to it, depending on how you look at it. This is a giveaway where the winners promise to host a giveaway and "pay it forward." (Probably started by Obama to spread the wealth!!) I have seen this on several blogs, but never entered because I didn't know what I would give away on the off-chance that I won. I'm pretty tight with my spending cash. I'm not a whiz at the sewing machine, or in the kitchen. I can't exactly offer to babysit for all the winners, either.

But then Cally hosted the giveaway and I couldn't resist entering. She has the most fabulous homemade things. The onlyreason I entered and took the chance of winning was because her stuff is so marvelous. And karma said, "Okay, Wonder Woman, if you're gonna take a chance, we'll give it to you."

So now, I'm dutifully paying it forward. The winners will receive something homemade from me within the year. (That's the promise everyone gives.) Hopefully it won't take a whole year......I'll promise by Christmas. Now, I realize that I may bave scared away all who want to enter after my confession of being without skills. But I will come up with something. And it will be good. Spectacular, even. Worth winning.

It just so happens that this coincides with my one year blogiversary, my 300th post, and some marvelous news here at the aMAYzing household. So really, I'm killing four birds with one stone. I'm a multi-tasker like that.

Typically, this pay-it-forward giveaway says that the first three people to enter are the automatic winners, but I'm taking a cue from my benefactor and saying that I will pick randomly. On Friday morning.

Just be willing to pay it forward if you win!

A Letter to my well-behaved children

Dear Spiderman and Hulkster,

On the days that mommy is stressed and must spend a lot of time at the computer, please try to refrain from the following:

• Removing all DVDs from their cases and leaving them strewn about
• Opening a package of hotdogs, breaking them in half, taking one bite from each half, then leaving them in the refridgerator (Really, what was the point of this?)
• Removing every single piece of bedding from mommy's bed
• Dumping out all the laundry baskets
• Taking baths and playing with mommy's razor
• Running stark naked down the driveway
• Running outside in your underwear and socks
• Hitting the refridgerator and magnets with a hammer -- A HAMMER.

Perhaps you sensed mommy's stress level and went bonkers. Acted out in all the ways she was repressing. Or maybe you just knew she'd be at the computer for hours on end and that you could get away with anything.

In any case, it was BAD. You're lucky to still be alive, quite honestly. (Especially after taking a hammer to my refridgerator.) And you will not get away with it again.

With much love,
Your adoring (if still slightly crazed) Wonder Mom

Old books, new books, odd books, good books

As I mentioned yesterday, I've been reading some books lately. I finally got a library fine cleared up, and have read 7 books in the past 9 days. You might say I was a bit starved of new literature!!

One of the authors I read was Lori Wick. She is a Christian author, and writes mostly romances. Browsing through the titles, it seems that much of her work historical fiction -- late 19th century mostly. To be honest, those books didn't interest me, but some of her more contemporary works did.

I read The Princess, Sophie's Heart, and White Chocolate Moments. I thoroughly enjoyed each of them. I liked Bible references and way the characters prayed frequently throughout the day. They made me want to be a better person and Christian. They've also made me look at my own beliefs and compare them to those of the author.

Another book I read was Laura Jensen Walker's Miss Invisible. It's about a "big" girl who basically lives her life invisible, but things happen and she becomes visible. It's made me look at my body differently (or at least my attitude towards it), and how I treat others, and it made me LAUGH OUTLOUD. More than once. Highly entertaining. (The main character even starts a blog!! How could I NOT like it?!) It's also got some Christian themes and references, but they aren't as prevalent as in Lori Wick's books. I'll definately be looking for more from her.

One final author I want to share with you is Alice Sebold. I read The Lovely Bones. It's the (fictional) story of a girl who was murdered in 1973. The book actually starts with the day she dies, and what her heaven is like. Most of the book is her looking down on her family, and seeing how they cope with her death.

I loved it. I couldn't put it down. It was sad and captivating and intriguing. There was very little language in it, but I just loved the story. It's not like anything I've ever read before.

I had checked out another book of hers, The Almost Moon. This one........I started and didn't finish. The book starts, "When all is said and done, killing my mother came easily. Dementia, as it descends, has a way of revealing the core of the person affected by it. My mother's core was rotten like the brackish water at the bottom of a weeks-old vase of flowers."

Despite this rather abrupt and disturbing opening, I pressed on, quite curious. It tells the story of a daughter, caring for her elderly and ill mother. But within first 30 pages, there were multiple "rough" swear words, and I just didn't like the tone of the book. It takes a lot for me to not want to finish a book, but even as it lies here in front of me, I have no desire to read further.

It would seem a common thread in these two books of hers is that of a repressed mother. Both mothers in the books had plans outside of a family. They dreamed of and briefly pursued careers. Then in the mid 1960s, they got married, started families, and ended up resenting either their husband, their children, or both, because they had to stay home.

As I started reading The Almost Moon and realized that this was going to be an even bigger theme than in The Lovely Bones, I just decided that I didn't care to read another book about a repressed mother. I'm sure it happened to many, many mothers at the time, but I just didn't feel the need to read it.

I actually called my mother and told her briefly about the books. I said, "I'm just glad that you liked being a stay-at-home-mom and didn't scar me for life! Thanks for being a good mom and not making me want to swear at you!"

She laughed and said she hoped it would always be like that. I told her that I didn't think we had anything to worry about.

The next book on my list is The Poisonwood Bible. I've heard someone talk about it recently, but for the life of me can't figure out who it was. Have any of you read it? What did you think? Or what other books have you read recently?

More wrinkles for the Botox to fill.....if I used Botox

I read a book recently by Christian author Lori Wick. I'm fairly new to the non-LDS Christian genre, so it's been interesting for me. In the book I read (The Princess), the main character starts to worry about things. Then she repents of this train of thought, realizing that it's a sin.


~~~I've never thought of worry as a sin before. Worry is basically fear. Fear that things won't turn out like you want them to. And fear is the antithesis and lack of faith. And it makes sense that being without faith is sinful. (I'm using a broad, black-and-white term of the word sin here.)


Essentially, worrying is saying that you think God isn't in control. "Sure, He's all powerful, but I don't know if he can handle this one." You aren't demonstrating faith and truly giving it to God, after all you can do.

It's pride. You think that God can't do all He says He can, but you can make a difference by worrying about it. Like that has any affect whatsoever, besides giving you more lines in your forehead.

Now there are times that worry might be a litle more justified. If, say, you've known about a presentation for months, but are searching for a projector two days before, you should be worried. (Just a hypothetical here.) You haven't adequately prepared, and you can't expect God to come in and drop a projector at your door when you haven't done your part. If, however, you've exhausted all options, and prayed, you've got to trust that God is in control. He knows and wants what's best for you, and wants to help you. But you've got to do all you can, then give it to God.

So what are you worried about? Husband finding a job? Keeping his job? Your teenager's friends? Getting pregnant? Getting cancer? Whatever it is, here's what you need to do: Do all you can. Everything in your power. Then pray, and trust that God is mindful of you. Remember that your needless worry shows that you doubt His power. Which is obviously silly, since He has all power.

What are your thoughts on worry as a "sin"?

C.R.A.Z.Y.

This week has been absolutely crazy. So crazy that I haven't blogged since Monday. MONDAY!!! At all!! No posting, no reading other blogs. I've read comments that have come into my e-mail, but that's it. I suppose that's the norm for some of you, but I've been in the habit of post daily (or at least 5 times/week) for a few months now. And I missed you guys! So here's what I've been up to

The things I had to do:
• Sing a solo for our Enrichment night on Thursday
• Sing another song with two other women
• Learn another song on the piano to accompany another sister
• Participate in the YM/YW activity at church
• Compile 4 different slideshows, 2 with pictures of women in my ward, and time them with the songs we were singing.
• Track down a projector
• Find someone to work the slideshow while I participated in the songs
• Set up for the activity
• Cook a frozen lasagna for the dinner portion
• Bring a few materials for the magnets we were making at the end of the activity
• Regular mommy/wife tasks

Things that went well:
• My solo
• My group number
• Song I accompanied
• YM/YW activity
• A sister on the committee ran the slideshow for me. (This is what I was most worried about, so I'm glad it went so well.)

Things that had complications:
• Compiling the slideshows -- Tracking down pictures of women in the ward, including blessing, baptism and wedding pictures. (Thank you, facebook!)
• Compiling the slideshows -- Finding pictures of Christ with the message I wanted, and not with writing on top of the picture. Finding artistic pictures of rain, and women (that weren't protected. I wish I could use that as a search category on flickr.)
• Finding the projector -- the first one I got from the library was from the 80s. Luckily we have quite a few school teachers in our ward and we were able to borrow one from them.
• Setting up for the activity -- We didn't have enough tablecloths and centerpieces. We made mad dashes to the dollar store and Partyland, and it turned out okay.

Things I totally blew:
• Cooking the lasagna -- by the time I had to leave and practice songs right before the activity, it still wasn't all the way done. I decided to bring it and finish cooking it at the church. Except the ovens there weren't turned on!! They were plugged in, but it was like a breaker was flipped. I ran back home and put it in the oven. But I had to put in uncovered on the top rack. By the time I went back 20 minutes later, it was really brown on top. Still edible, if you peeled off the first layer. Luckily mine wasn't the only lasagna.
• Materials for the craft -- completely forgot I was supposed to bring stuff. Went back home (for the 3rd time) and discovered I didn't have what I thought I had. Rushed back, sent another sister to the store because it was time for the singing to start.
• Being a good mommy/wife -- Children were in morning diapers till lunch somedays. I had FIVE loads of laundry to do yesterday. (I ran out of hangers.) We had 3 tony's pizzas in 4 days. I was up till 1 am Tuesday and Thursday nights finding pictures. My house was a DISASTER. The kids watched more than their regular amounts of Superwhy, Backyardigans, and Tom and Jerry.

But it's all over. The activity went exceptionally well, considering. I spent all day yesterday cleaning, washing, folding and putting away laundry, playing with my children, and cooking a good dinner. Today is my blog catch-up day. I'm excited to see what you've all been up to!

Little people, Big world, Wonder Woman style

Yesterday I wore some ballet flats to church. A friend and I were talking, then continued our conversation as we stood up. "Wow! You're really short without heels on! I suppose that's why you normally wear them, huh?" she interjected.

I have to confess that this is not an uncommon reaction. It is also why I rarely wear flats.

When I'm sitting down talking to others, my height, or lack thereof, is not noticeable. (Unless we're sitting on a big couch. When I sit all the way back, my feet never reach the floor. But even then, the people I'm with rarely notice.) Then we stand up, and if it's someone I'm not terribly close to, I get some kind of comment, almost without fail. "How tall are you?" "I never realized how short you really were!" "Aww, that's so cute!"

For the record, I'm just a little shy of 5'1". Not technically a little person, but short enough that I have to get a chair or climb on the counters to get things from the top shelf of my kitchen. Frequently. It's kind of annoying, because now I've taught my children to do the same when they want something from up there.

But it wasn't until a few days ago that I saw myself the way others see me.

Out shopping the other day, I saw another short woman. Her head barely reached above the carseat that was sitting in the front of the shopping cart. (I learned to balance the carseat at the back end of the basket so I could see.) I thought, "Wow! She's short!" A few moments later I passed another woman and though the same thing. Then I realized we both were at eye level with each other. A litle bit later, I saw a woman in the check-out lane, and noticed how short she was, too.

Then I realized that this is exactly how people see me! I was eye-level with all these women. It was kind of a shocking revelation. I don't notice how short I am. I think I'm average size. I'm used to looking up at people, some more than others. If a person is only an inch or two taller, I don't notice it, but if they're shorter, it really throws me off. I wondered if everyone's first impression of me was how short I was. Or maybe it just sticks out to me because it happens so rarely.

What about you guys? Are you average height? Tall or short? What do you think when you see people on either end of the scale? Does their height even register in your mind? Does that first impression affect how you act with that person?

Frandomday (does that make sense?)

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"KGB."
"KGBwh--" Slap!

"Ve vill ask ze questionz!"
--Dwight Schrute and Jim Halpert

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We gave potty-training another go this week. I had the Hulk sitting on the potty and he said, "It's not working!" meaning his body wasn't doing it. I told him that I knew it was working, and just to push. "It's not working! I want some jello." I told him if he went potty he could have some jello. And you know what the stinker did? Pushed and produced. Pronto. A little pellet. (TMI? Sorry.)

He peed 2 more times in the potty. Yay! Got two more bowls of jello. In the 3 hours we were trying, he also wet through two sets of underwear and peed in the kitchen, living room, and bedroom. So it was somewhat successful. I'll let you know how take 3 goes.....whenever it happens.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've pretty much decided to not do pre-K for Spiderman next year. I really, really appreciate all your input on that. I talked to his teachers today just to make sure he was doing okay. They said he's a great kid and a good student. Sits there and listens and follows instructions, and a peacemaker. He's not one to start fights or get involved in them. I think he's going to be just fine not doing it next year. He'll have plenty of opportunites to practice sitting quietly and listening and following instructions in the library class. (I'm also thinking about talking to some friends who do a joy school.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Thursday is our Enrichment activity. I'm planning a small musical presentation for it -- remember this incredible story? I've got sisters lined up to sing a few songs. About a week ago while I was singing the songs just around the house, I had some ideas pop into my head. I couldn't even finish the song because I was overcome with so much emotion. (I know it was the Spirit.)

One of the songs is by Cherie Call, called "She." (It's a beautiful song. If you really want to hear, click over to my scripture blog. It's on the playlist.) It's basically talking about how the everyday woman is beautiful, as compared to actresses and model that we see all the time. And it occurred to me that we need to have pictures of the women in our ward in a slideshow while I sing this song.

Another song is essentially the poem "My Three White Dresses" put to music. (What Heaven Sees in You) I hadn't even planned on singing this song originally, but then I realized that it's a mother/daughter activity. We are going to have lots of young women and girls there. And I knew we had to sing it. And singing it the other day, I knew we needed pictures of women and/or their daughters in blessing, baptism, and wedding day attire.

I sent out e-mails a week ago, asking for pictures. I sent another one last night. So far, I have pictures from 3 women. Not quite enough for a slideshow. I'm really hoping that we get more. I know this would make these songs even more powerful. I just hope we can make it happen. We're defiantely getting down to the wire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, for the real point of Random 10 Friday, 10 random tunes from my playlist -->

1. Fly Away -- Tim McGraw
2. To Make You Feel My Love -- Adele
3. Smooth -- Santana feat. Rob Thomas
4. Anyway -- Martina McBride
5. Mad World -- Gary Jules
6. The Office -- NBC (yes, I have it on my playlist. It makes me happy)
7. Angel -- Sarah McLachlan
8. I Will -- Alison Krauss
9. We Will Rock You -- Queen
10. Streetcorner Symphony -- Rob Thomas

Give me your best shot

This week I'm participating in sweet Lolli's carnival.

Each week I think about participating, but then Friday comes and I have no picture. But I was on the ball yesterday. I saw something I wanted to remember and grabbed my camera. It's not exactly my best shot, and I'm posting more than one. It's mostly for the grandparents and people who actually know my kids. For the record, I am not in any way, shape, or form a photographer. I have no editing software, either, so these are all SOOC. (Straight out of camera, for those of you like me who aren't phtographers.)

Can you see the sound effects?


Spiderman and I built at great "car fort" with his blocks.

Yes, Grammy, that's the Lex Luthor car.

And of course I had to get one of the Hulk, too.

To see more, head on over to Life is Sweet.

un-Happy meals

Most kids: go to McDonald's frequently
My kids: don't

Most kids: get Happy Meals
My kids: don't

Most kids: have become complacent about chicken nuggets and fries
My kids: inhale their nuggets and fries, afraid the dream will end before all has been consumed

Most kids: enjoy playing at the play place
My kids: would rather beg for other kids' food than go down the slide

Most kids: have so many Happy Meal toys, they don't even notice a new one
My kids: fight over the Spiderman toy that isn't even theirs

Most kids: obey when mom says it's time to go (some may complain, but still obey)
My kids: throw a fit inside the playplace and need me to crawl in and get them.

Most moms: would take their kids more often to avoid scenarios like these
I: will continue to avoid McDonald's (and their devilishly delicious fries) at all costs

March's Visiting Teaching Message

Am I right, or am I right?!

Inquiring minds want to know......

What do you think of pre-K school?

Spiderman's in preschool right now. He has one more year before kindergarten. His school is upping their tuition. It will be about half again as much as it is now. And they'll be doing basically the same stuff as this year.

They are also starting a pre-K class. It will be more focused on letters and writing and phonics and math/science. It will be twice as often. It also costs twice as much.

I'm just not sure what to do. The only reason we could afford pre-school to begin with was because I was babysitting for a friend, and I'm no longer doing that. So paying double what we are now is going to be quite a stretch. But do I want to pay what I'm paying now +50% for the same thing he learned this year?

Our local library has a class for pre-kindergarteners. It's free, and 3 days a week. They read stories and do little activites. Definately not on the level of a pre-K school, but pretty good for a library. I'm wondering if signing Spiderman up for that and getting a few workbooks is good enough. I mean, it's only kindergarten. It's not like we're prepping for the SATs. I know he loves preschool, but I seriously doubt he's going to be heartbroken if we don't do it next year. I like the social interaction and class environment, but he gets some of that at church every week.

So what do you think? Is pre-K important enough now that each kid should have it? Would he be okay without it?

Tackle it Tuesday and marvy giveaways!!

I don't usually do Tackle it Tuesdays or pimp out my blog, but I just had to share this with you guys. My sweet friend Lolli has been doing this giveaway for a little while, but I didn't enter because I didn't think the prize was something I would really use.

I was wrong.

Lolli shared this tip from the Mrs. Meyer's cleaning book she's giving away today: to clean your drains, pour 1/2 cup baking soda down the drain, followed by 1/2 cup white vinegar. After a few minutes, pour a pot of boiling water down the drain. (I'm boiling water right now, and plan to start the dishes right after I punch this out!)

So here's what you need to do: Follow the links and enter Lolli's giveaway. Then go clean your drain. Or tell me what you've tackled today. Or just say hi and tell me what you're definately not tackling today. And be sure to enter Annette's giveaway, too. (Button in the sidebar, or scroll down). That one's the motherload. On second thought, don't enter that one. Decreases my odds.

Annette's mind-blowing giveaway!!

Did you know that I know a real, bonafide, published author? And it's not that she's published her blog, but actually written books that have been sold in stores!! Many of them! Annette Lyon's most recent book, Tower of Strength is coming very soon. She's doing a whole bunch of bloggy things to get the word out, including a fabulous giveaway!!! She's got perfume, CDs, blog TLC, jewelry, books on making scripture reading exciting for your kids......and more. Seriously. There's a ton of stuff. Go over and enter now! Then buy her book!

Here's a trailer. (How cool is it that her book has a trailer? And that I know the chick who wrote and performed the music for it?!)



Go and enter. Did I mention there's gourmet popcorn?

Baby hungry

These little angels give new meaning to the phrase!

These are made with marzipan....

Marzipan is almond paste: a sweet paste made of ground almonds and sugar, often with egg whites or yolks, used as a layer in cakes or molded into ornamental shapes.

aww.....wook at da widdle baby yawn!!!

The Hulk had hair like this when he was born -- thick and strawberry blonde.

And that belly button? Too cute!

Spiderman was born with hair like this!! Long and dark.

Alright. Now I'm seriously baby hungry!! Maybe these are what Anne Geddes has been using all these years.......

ABCs, 123s, and other things the Jackson 5 don't want you to know

A
- Available: Night and Day
- Age: is only a number
- Annoyance: facebook app invites. IGNORE ALL (except yours. of COURSE not yours!)
- Animal: the muppet babies drummer. Reminds me of Steven Adler, recently of Celebrity Rehab and Sober Living fame.
- Actor: someone paid to lie really well
- Actress: a liar who's also a feminist

B
- Best Friends: Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey and Ross
- Blind or deaf: Helen Keller could do both. Don't see why I should have to choose.
- Been in Love: since my first Hershey's kiss
- Been on stage: nope. never been on a stage coach.
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: After seeing Patrick Swayze talk to Whoopi how could you NOT?!

C
- Candy: I want some. (da. da da-da da. da-da DA!)
- Color: I paint with the ones in the wind
- Cried in school: no. There's no CRYING in SCHOOL!
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Ebony/Ivory. Black/White. Why is this survey so RACIST?!
- Chinese/Mexican: SERIOUSLY! How rude.
- Cake or pie: Marie Antoinette or Miss American. GET OVER IT!
- Country to visit: OH MY GOSH!!!! One COUNTRY is not better than another. One RACE is not better than another. One HEROIN is not better than another. (Except Edward's brand of heroin.) WHO WROTE THIS THING?! Nazis?!

D
- Day or Night: Sandra D. O'Conner or M. Night Shamaylan........hmm.......Sandra D. Still a virgin.
- Dance in the rain: Only if you sing, too.

E
- Eyes: generally a good thing to have and use.
- Everyone has: eyes. Dumb question.

F
- First crush: Kade Burkett. Showed me his Mario Bros. underwear in 2nd grade. He had me from Luigi. {sigh}
- First thoughts waking up: Dang. Not translated yet.
- Food: for thought: the last time unemployment was as high as it is now was the year I was born

G
- Greatest Fear: Fear. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I'm afraid of being afraid.
- Giver or taker: Candlestick maker.
- Gum: Doublemint. Because Chris Brown is so awesome.
- Get along with your parents: My parents read my blog sometimes, so my answer is YES!!!!

H
- Hair Color: remember that one time I dyed it?
- Height: shorter than you. I'd bet my right thumb on it. (Not quite 5'1". See. I told ya.)
- Happy: Good golfer and hockey player.
- Holiday: Green Day.
- How do you want to die: Sher and I are planning on being translated. "Twinkled," if you will.

I
- Ice Cream: YOU scream. Cut it out!
- Instrument: Paula said I have a beautiful one. Thank ye kindly, mum.

J
- Jewelry: tinkling ornaments, chains, bracelets, leg ornaments, earrings, rings, nose jewels....did I miss anything, Babylon?
- Job: patient man

K
- Kids: baby goats can be frustrating at times, but still really fun to have around.
- Kickboxing or karate: Whatever best allows me to KICK some BOOTY!
- Keep a journal: Now why would I want to go and waste my time like that?

L
- Love: Rock of
- Laughed so hard you cried: Four words: You Tube. Search "pranks."
- Love at first sight: You ever seen McDreamy's "look"? You'd be in love, too.

M
- Milk flavor: Have you guys seen that ad for snorg tees with the cow? A cow says, "Milk, I am your father," and a gallon of milk looks all scared and says, "NOOOO!!!" {snorging milk out my nose}
- Movie: stars are the best role models we could ever have. I'm so grateful for them.
- Marriage: see above answer
- Motion sickness: only when the hand-held cams get out of control
- McD's or BK: Britney and Kevin FOREVER!!! They are totally going to get back together! I just know it.

N
- Number of Siblings: I wish I had 13. That'd be awesome.
- Number of Piercings: Wish I had 13 of them, too.

O
- Overused Phrases: Octamom. I can't believe we're still hearing about her.
- One wish: I hope you dance.

P
- Place you'd like to live: Antartica. Land's probably pretty cheap down there, and it's warming up, baby!! Plus, aren't penguins like the cutest birds ever?!
- Pepsi/Coke: Dr. Pepper. They had some seriously messed up people writing this thing.


Q
- Questionnaires: What do you think?

R
- Reason to cry: Tatiana leaving AI. That girl was amazing, and so sweet and genuine.
- Reality T.V.: YES PLEASE. ALL OF IT.
- Radio Station: my99.5, or 92.1 (fellow Utahns heard of that one? Pretty good stuff over there.)
- Roll your tongue in a circle: among other things. I can also roll my arms in a circle. At the same time. I'm multi-talented.

S
- Shoe size: 12 1/2
- Salad Dressing: I usually just dress mine in a shirt and jeans
- Slept outside: only when absolutely necessary
- Seen a dead body: only when absolutely necessary
- Sing well: more than necessary.....pretty much all the time
- Stuffed Animals: only the dead ones. When absolutely necessary.
- Single/Group dates: those are the best kind, and always necessary
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberry Shortcake was one of my favorite girls growing up

T
- Time for bed: No!!!! I don't wanna go to bed! I wanna read a book and play lego star wars! (No, I didn't hear this around 8 last night. What makes you think that?)
- Thunderstorms: I only like the thunder from down under. Hugh Jackman. Yeah, baby!
- TV: wish I had an i and an o to go with those letters
- Touch your tongue to your nose: among other things. I can also touch it to my elbow. No, really, I can. I know it's supposed to be impossible, but I swear I can. Can you?

U
- Unpredictable: Markie Mark's original title for his hit song

V
- Vegetable you hate: Archibald. He's that British one with the glasses that plays Larry Boy's butler.
- Vacation spot: Vermont. I hear it's wonderful this time of year....all that snow.

W
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: Rachel. We both like to shop and tease Ross. Or mabe Monica? I'm a HUGE people pleaser.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Chandler. (Actually Ross, but Chandler would be heartbroken if he knew I felt that way.)
- Worst feeling: Kissing my best friend's girl. I had to spend time in a box for that one.
- Worst weather: Snow on my wedding day. But we made it work. Even had a steel drum. Pretty awesome.

X
-X-Rays: My husband has x-ray vision.

Y
-Year it is now: Goodyear
-Yellow: It was all Coldplay

Z
- Zoo animal: A Wump with 7 humps that makes me jump.
- Zodiac sign: Libra. Positive, easy-going, lazy and indecisive. Or if my mom is reading this: O positive, easy-going, productive, and good at making decisions.

TAG!! You're it!

Scare tactics

A few days ago, I found a note. It was a folded piece of paper, with my husband's handwriting on it.

{{No, it wasn't written to another woman. Different kind of scare.}}


It said, "I love you and miss you all. If I don't see you again I'll wait for you in heaven. Christ lives. Believe and follow Him."

First thought: Short and sweet testimony.

Second thought: This must have been in his coat pocket. Why?



Was it some kind of thing he kept in his coat pocket in case he died in a car accident or something? Was it a suicide note of some kind? What the HECK is this?!?

Now, you may think that's an extreme reaction. It is extreme. But just last Sunday, our Relief Society lesson was about depression.


Final words + husband who thinks he's gonna die young + lessons on depression = a very anxious afternoon



I didn't even have the courage to ask Superman about it till we were laying in bed that night.

"So........I found a note today that I was wondering about. It said, "I love and miss you all. If I don't see you again -- "


"Oh, yeah. I know the one you're talking about."


"Sooooo.........what was it, exactly?" (Bracing myself for confessions of depression or morbidity.)


"A few Sundays ago Brother B. told us to write what we sould say if we only had 25 words to tell our families. So that was what I'd tell you guys."

"OH!!!!!" I started cracking up. "I didn't know if it was some kind of suicide note or you thinking you were gonna die unexpectedly.......I was so scared this afternoon!!!"



Superman's laughing by this time, too. "Well, you can blame Bro. B. He's the one that made me do it."

Whew.

What would YOU had thought if you found a note like that?!

To spring or not to spring? That seems to be the question

A mere 72 hours ago:

Headed to the park. We had jackets, but they took them off once we got there. And it was 60 degrees the day after this!

Then this morning, we wake up to:

Inches on the ground. Thankfully, it wasn't cold enough for the snow to freeze on the roads.

This next picture was taken just a few minutes ago, about 4:00 p.m.

Please come back, Spring! You gotta fight! We need you!

It's done!!!!

A little while ago, I won some blog TLC from the fabulous April and asked for a header. She finished it last night! I absolutely love it. Exactly what I pictured! Thanks so much, April!! Go on over and show her some love!! (She's also got a really fun craft swap going on right now.)



p.s. Thanks for all the compliments on my hair. I'm really loving the bangs. I never wear it straight anymore, simply because I can't afford the right serums and straighteners to make it work! I'll have to go back to curling it, but I still love it! And if any of you are in central Utah County or willing to drive to Provo, for a haircut, go to the Paul Mitchell (school by BYU) and request Todd. He is seriously AMAZING. And because he's still a student, they are really inexpensive cuts. (He graduates in May, so he knows what he's doing.) I highly, highly recommend him!!

Wordless Workin' for me Wednesday

was:

will be for a while:

attempting to be sexy. might now be workin' for me so much.

the new 'do.

I may or may not have gone through a bag of Cadbury mini-eggs in 3 days. (One of those days I was fasting.)

I might have burned myself pulling a pan out of the oven because the oven mitt has a hole in it from the dog.

It's possible that I caught my children eating butter. Straight. TWICE. In one day. (And I wasn't even blogging. )

I might have lost THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE to the Bachelor last night. Just to be mad.

I may or may not have considered staying up to watch Jimmy Kimmel because Jason was going to be on.

It's possible that I'm considering a change in hair style tonight.....and I am SO excited!!!

What are YOU not telling?

p.s. Also not confessing to stealing the pic from Tammy without asking. That would have been wrong. Thanks, girlie!!

Obligatory post about The Bachelor.

All the spoilers were right. Jason for some reason chose Melissa, dumped at the After the Final Rose, and got back together with Molly. (Do you think it was all set up by the producers and Jason went along with it?) For the record, I loved both girls. I though Molly was better with him than Melissa. It seemed like his family and DeAnna were telling him to go with Melissa because she was safer. But in the end, he just didn't feel as strongly for Melissa as he did for Molly. Loved Melissa's reaction. Good for her. Loved Molly's, too.

I'm just wondering what the heck they're going to talk about tonight in the ATFR part 2! What could there POSSIBLY be left?!

Do you know where Benji Schwimmer is?

(Be patient. The answer will come.)

My friend Rachel gave me this great award!! I'm not exactly sure what Premios Daro is, but I love the typewriter. So thanks, girlie!!

STEP 1: Respond and rework. Answer the following questions on my blog, replacing one question that I dislike with a question of my own invention.

STEP 2: Add one more question of my own.

STEP 3: Tag eight other bloggers.


1) What is your favorite day of the week? Sunday. I love going to church for many reasons. And we've switched from afternoon to morning church, so now I have ALL DAY to enjoy at home!!
2) What is your biggest fear? Superman dying before he's 70.
3) What was your worst subject in school? Chemistry
4) Who did you hug last? Spiderman
5) What websites do you visit when you go online? e-mail, bloglines and therefore all your blogs, and facebook
6) What was the last item that you bought? little caesar's pepperoni pizza
7) If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Europe. Italy, France, England, Germany, Austria.
8) What is your favorite book? I love The Peacegiver, all Jodi Picoult, Twilight of course....guess that about covers it.
9) What was the longest car ride you ever took? Wichita, KS to Manti, UT to Cascade, MT, to Wichita, KS. Also the BEST car ride of my life. (Fell back in love with Superman)
10) What was the last movie you watched? Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (well, most of it.)
11) If you had a whole day to yourself with no work, commitments, or interruptions, what would you do? Shop, blog, eat, shop, read
12) If you were to win the Powerball, what would you do with the money (besides invest it)? new house, minivan, pay off student loans, save at least 3 mos. salary, food storage, college funds
14) In your opinion, who is the most significant person in history and why? Anna Nicole Smith. Kidding KIDDING. Jesus Christ.
15) If you had a choice of places to live, where would it be? Wichita, KS (Hello, family!!)
16)What's a item on your property you can't live without? the gate to our fence. so we can put the dogs out and not have to chain them.
17) Do you know where Benji Schwimmer is right now? YES!!!! I just found out he's been staying with a woman in my ward for the past few days! He's friends with her son. She cooked him dinner last night. He's been sleeping a mere quarter of a mile from my house and I had no idea. What? You don't know who Benji Schwimmer is? I don't even know why we're friends, then.

And now I'm tagging/passing this award along to:

1. That Girl in Brazil @ Misplaced Americans (she's up for MMB spotlight and TOTALLY deserves it! Go over and vote for her!)
2. Ashley@ Veater Family Adventures
3. That one chick who Sher's the Love and her musical prowess!
4. TruBluBYU @ Laughing at Life's Little Wedgies
5. Emily @ Good Frau
6. Jenna @ Cranberry Corner
7. Melissa @ because I really can't get enough of myself
8. Kelly @ None of your Beeswax

Mars and Venus

The difference between Superman and I:

Last night, he dreamt he was at work, doing a project for the french airline they work with. (This company is truly his arch nemesis. He even stopped drinking french vanilla hot chocolate because it's French.) He woke up this morning feeling like he should go back to sleep to finish the project.

Last night, I dreamt about a preview for tonight's The Bachelor. I woke up wondering if it was only a dream, or a real preview. (Have there been any that show a girl in a yellow dress and someone else in a black and white dress? Standing next to the limo? I really don't know if it was real or just a dream!)

It would seem like life is slightly less stressful than his.

p.s. That thing the other day is definately hypothetical.

Vindication

A few weeks ago in Sunday School, Superman was teaching about "asking with real intent" in reference to prayer. To illustrate his point he said, "Like when my wife asks me which earrings she should wear. No matter what I say, I'm wrong! She's not asking with real intent. She knows the answer she wants to hear, and will do what she wants no matter the answer I give."

It was a joke, but spoken with a little bit too much bitterness, in my opinion. (Alright. Sometimes I do that. But not ALL the time. Sometimes I really can't decide and want his opinion!)

So this week, I was getting dressed and almost asked his opinion on which necklace I should wear. But I decided against it, seeing how "bitter" he was. ;) He could tell what I was about to say, and I told him I wasn't even going to ask. He said, "Good. I really don't like any of your necklaces. I think they're all just....too much."

"Oh. I......didn't realize you felt that way."

"It's nothing personal. I just don't really like your necklaces."

"Well. Good to know. I'm going to wear one anyway, but not because I don't value your opinion. I didn't ask for your opinion, you just gave it."

Fast-forward to just after church is done. I was talking to another sister in the ward when Superman walked up with the boys. Just as he walked up, the sister said, "I really like your necklace, by the way." (That's a picture of it up there.)

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," I said, turning to Superman.

So there.

Sabbath thoughts

For my thoughts on his entire talk, read here.