A few years ago Elder Pace suffered a heart attack. When he awoke in the hospital after his surgery, he had a "soul memory," he called it. It was family. Family. Family. Family.
He knew that his work wasn't finished, but he didn't know what it was, exactly. He joked that it would've been nice if there had been a to do list left on his pillow. Elder Pace also didn't know how much time he had.
He said, "When you don't know how much time you've got, and you know your work isn't finished, you've got to be aware and sensitive to all around you. Because the reason you're still here might be standing in front of you at any time."
Do any of us really know how much time we've got? Are any of us finished with our work?
When you don't know how much time you've got, and you know your work isn't finished, you've got to be aware and sensitive to all around you. Because the reason you're still here could be standing in front of you at anytime.
My children stand in front of me all the time. They are the reason I am still here. I need to do better.
Elder Pace's testimony was so powerful. I wish I could adequately communicate with the Spirit to you. I'll try my best.
He said that part of his calling as a special witness of Christ was not only bearing testimony of Him, but bearing witness for Him.
"If He were standing here right now, which, He is, in proxy form, He wouldn't see 400 people. He would see us all individually and at the same time."
Think about that. He wouldn't see Elder Pace, then the stake president, then his counselors, then the congregation. He would see us all at the same time, yet individually.
"He knows us intimately and loves us anyway."
"He knows our weaknesses and loves us because of them, and in spite of them."
I know that this is true. Our Savior knows us individually. He knows all that we suffer, and He has been there. He knows my failings and your failings -- failings that caused Him infinite agony, and loves us anyway.
Doesn't that blow your mind? All these little things we do all the time that are disobedient and we think hurt no one hurt Christ. Do we really know that? How can we (I) better remember the Savior when we are choosing to sin? Maybe I should write His name on my hand, like He did mine.
I think we all have little sins that we struggle with. We think they aren't a big deal. Or when our conscious (aka the Holy Ghost) pricks us, we make light of it. Or we think that it's too hard to change.
Really? Do you really want to tell Christ it was just too hard to stop [insert favorite sin]? Like what He did wasn't hard? Harder than we could ever imagine? Because it was. He didn't get through it because He was perfect, or because He was half-God. He got through it because of love. The love and therefore perfect submission and obedience to His Father, and His love for us. Love. Love is all you need.
So how much do we love Christ? Enough to at least try to do better? (The voice of a little green puppet is coming into my head. "There is no try. Only do, or do not.")
Well. I didn't mean for this post to end up like this. I just let my thoughts to the talking and fingers to do the walking. It must have been something I needed to process, because I know where I can do better. I need to be more careful about the media that comes into my home. My children (and I) don't need to hear and see some of the things we do.
Okay. I'm officially stepping off my soapbox. I know that Christ loves us in spite of our weakness. I also know that through His grace (divine help), we can overcome our weaknesses and make them strengths. Only then can we *become* what God wants and needs us to be.