Soundtrack Sunday

This may be a bit melodramatic, but as I was thinking about Spiderman going to preschool for the first time this next week, the song Sunrise, Sunset came to mind. It could be because I've been surprisingly emotional about it, or maybe just because I watched a bit of The Sound of Music last night.

The other two songs, "Let them be little" and "Baby of mine" are ones that I've really loved the past few weeks. Guess I've just been particularly aware of how quickly the time passes. I'm almost to the point where I can listen to "Let them be little" without getting teary. And Ashley, I totally thought of you when I picked the Sunrise, Sunset music, since it's on the harp, and played at a lot of weddings.

Earlier this week, Rocks in my Dryer had a Back-to School Haiku Contest with some really great prizes. I decided to at least give it a go. I was going to write a clever one about my child not going back to school, since this is his first year, but about not being the only woman in his life anymore, or something like that.

I wrote one stanza, something like:

First year in pre-school,
-Gasp!- No longer the only
woman in his life.

But I realized I wasn't done. I went on to write more stanzas and found out that while I was excited for this new chapter in his life, there were many other emotions under the surface. I love that writing some poetry made me delve deeper and realize I was feeling things I wasn't aware I had been feeling. That's it's a very bittersweet time for me right now.

I love that Spiderman's growing up and learning new things, but I don't know if he's ready for pre-school. Have I done my job? He can sing the alphabet song, but doesn't know how to cut with scissors. He doesn't really sit still and listen to a whole story that I read him. Sometimes he will, but he's up and playing with his blocks most of the time. And he still lets out a scream when things don't go his way. He doesn't seem ready! Luckily he's got two years of preschool before kindergarten. Time to figure it all out. And I hear he does great in Primary (Sunday School class for the kids 3+.) So maybe I'm worried about nothing. I know kids act differently at home than they do elsewhere. Much more likely to act out at home.

And I don't know that I'm ready!! As I was writing the haiku, I realized that life would forever be different. After Tuesday, he will ALWAYS be in school. Yes, it's only every other day for 2 hours right now. But it will be that way till next summer. And then we'll only get 3 month breaks till he graduates HIGH SCHOOL. Never again will he be home all day, all the time. He has a part of his life now that has nothing to do with me, where up till now, his entire life has depended on me! I will only know what he chooses to tell me, and what his teachers tell me. That boggles my mind. Spiderman will know things that I don't. He's only 3!! Does this sound WRONG to anyone else?!

Right now, Spiderman loves to ride his bike. And he goes farther than he should. Mostly becuse I haven't set clear boundaries. He goes around the corner. I have to go check on him every 2 minutes to make sure I can still see him. I usually catch him as he's just turning the corner near a busy street. I holler for him to please turn around. And he does. He's a good kid - pretty good at obeying, when he's not in a belligerent mood. This happened just last night and I was thinking to myself how glad I was he listened to me, and realized that it would not always be like that. He was growing up, and would soon start negotiating with me how far he could go. Then just outright disobeying, maybe. And soon enough, he would be able to ride his bike around the neighborhood and I would have no legitimate reason to worry about him.

The thought breaks my heart!! There are times where I think, Someday, he'll be able to wipe his own bottom. And get his own drink of water. And buckle his own carseat - oh wait, he can DO that one already... I'm anxious for the day where I don't have to do *everything* for him, and then realize that there are so many things that he does for himself. I don't know that I'm ready for him to not need me anymore.

Guess I don't really have a choice, though. This is what parenthood is, isn't it? You teach them how far down the street they can go, and hope they remember and obey. You can't always be there to watch them. You try to teach them how to deal with problems, and hope they remember not to scream and get mad, but think. You try to teach them how much you love them, and hope they remember that no matter what they do, they can always talk to you, and that you'll love them.

How I hope they'll remember.

Things I've learned this week...coincidentally, a random 10

• No matter how loud I turn up Alicia Keyes and sing and dance in the car, my boys won't sing along.
• I should make sure I have all the ingredients before I start making dinner. (Learned this lesson twice this week with the same recipe. Thank goodness for nice old lady neighbors.)
• Cream of Mushroom with Garlic tastes more like Cream of Garlic with a little bit of mushroom.
• I love Target. And it is a VERY good thing that I don't live closer to one.
• Buying candy bars on sale is a bad idea, because I eat them. Sometimes more than one a day.
• I'm not ready for summer to end.
• It's mandatory for me to do chores before getting on the internet or reading, because if I do either of those first, NOTHING ELSE gets done. All day. Quite pathetic, actually.
• Turning on my Alison Krauss CD in the car no longer makes my kids fall asleep, but it does make ME fall asleep. Not good.
• It's possible to love someone more today than you did five years ago, when you thought you loved them as much as you possibly could.
• I'm not ready for Spiderman to go to preschool. Not ready at all. I thought I was excited.....and it's turned very bittersweet for me. A new part of his life that does not include me. I'll only know what he chooses to tell me. Now I understand why my mom wasn't satisfied with, "School was fine. Boring. That's it." He'll never again be home all day long. Yes, of course there are summers, but he will ALWAYS go back to school. Till he moves out.

I know they grow up fast, but I'm really not ready for this.

What have YOU learned this week?

Wild animals.....and I'm not talking about my boys....

Are you ready for this? An actual post about an outing with my children. With pictures. I know. I'm in shock, too.

The leopard was SO active! I think he was mad, too. He just kept pacing back and forth with his mouth open. Scared more than one child. Not Spiderman, though.

He quite enjoyed the leopard.

Spiderman with his friend McKenzie on the rhino.

The Hulk on the rhino.

This might be my favorite, with the Hulk's nose to the glass and Spiderman so excited, looking at something else. Hulk's looking at the porcupines who were trying to give the kiddies a demonstration of the birds and the bees. Awkward....

He loved it when they ran away! As did I.

My sweet boy, and my not so sweet photog skills. Glares and bluriness everywhere.

I love the penguins.

This is the white, but not albino, crocodile. I discovered one of the easiest ways to tell the difference between crocodiles and alligators. If you can see teeth when they mouth is closed, it's a crocodile. So there. You learned something today.

This actually was my favorite trip to the Hogle Zoo ever. Going with kids who are old enough to really enjoy the animals helps, as does going with other moms so I have someone to talk to. And we had GREAT weather - mid 80s with a slight breeze. My kids were extraordinarily well behaved. All in all, a really fun day.

Wordless Wednesday

This trailer literally left me without words. I was cracking up. If you like The Dark Knight, or The Office, you're gonna LOVE this.

The Hulk got a tag!

The Hulk's cousin Piper tagged him! So now you get to learn more about my little monster.


Name and meaning: Well, seeing how I just changed to code names, I named him "The Hulk" because that's the superhero he's most like. When this kid is angry, he gets MAD. On the flip side, though, when he's happy he just exudes joy. And he loves to eat. LOVES it. He's always been a really great eater. I loved that I found a pic on Flickr of the Hulk eating.

Age: 2 years and almost 3 months Birthday: I just told you how old he is. You really need a birthday, too? I'll just say that his birthday parties will always be combined Memorial Day parties.

Nicknames: sweet boy, and I'm always mixing up his and Spiderman's name. I've never actually called him The Hulk.

Favorite activities: Doing boy things. He's currently digging through the toy box looking for a gun. I've played baseball with him 4 times today. Building with blocks, playing outside, playing video games with daddy. And TALKING. This kid never stops. I'm always getting a dialogue on his life.

Favorite foods: Anything I put in front of him. I really can't think of anything he's not eaten. He likes Goldfish, popsicles, cereal, PBJs (we call them pizza sandwiches) and meat. He usually picks the meat out of his bowl and eats it first.

Least favorite foods: umm.....I really can't think of anything.....

Favorite music: He likes the alphabet song, and primary music, and my Dancing with the Stars work out video. (DON'T say anything.)

Favorite toys: Bat, ball, guns, blocks, swords, trains, cars....like I said, he's a typical boy. Oh, he has a baby doll that he absolutely ADORES. Loves to put it to bed, cover it with a blanket, hold it....that's the only "non-boy" thing we have, and he loves that baby. Favorite book: The Hulk really likes reading books. Loves his Elmo and Cookie Monster books, Go Dog, Go, and "Jesus" books, as he calls them.

Favorite item of clothing: Superman shirts. Too young to care much more than that.

What makes me happy: LOTS of things!! He's a really happy kid when he's not angry. Loves playing with Spiderman and Superman. Food, reading books, dogs, getting what he wants all make him happy

What makes me sad: Having his blanket taken away. This kid LOVES his blanket like I've never seen. Mommy leaving. Not getting what he wants. Well, that makes him more mad than sad.

So that's my sweet boy in a nutshell! We're tagging: Ashley's Kirsten, Nemiha's Avi, Nicole's Alex, Aubrey's Cohen, and Suzi's Josef

Five years ago today....

...my fairy tale came true.

I am so blessed to truly have married my best friend. He was my best friend before we even started dating. I love that we truly were friends before we began to fall in love. Superman was my first date, by first boyfriend, my first kiss. I love that we have such a great history. That we knew each other in high school, broke up for his mission, and still got married. (Through a very, VERY long and complicated string of events. I'll just say that I know God was aware of me, and saved me through my sweet Superman.) I love that we had such great chemistry from the beginning. That our friendship has remained in tact for nearly 9 years. That he still knows the entire Men in Black dance that he would do at our church dances, complete with suit and sunglasses and back-up dancers. (He was seriously the coolest guy. You have no idea.)

He really is the cheese to my macaroni. The cowbell for my feevah. He is my match in every way. I love that I am able to quote movies and prophets with him - that we can have deep, powerful discussions and text back and forth quotes from Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog. He's a hardworker and a superb father. One heck of a husband. I love that he truly makes me feel beautiful.

It's been an incredible 5 years, Superman. Here's to a million more.












I love you.

p.s. sorry the Cinderella pics are so small. Only some of my wedding prints were put on a disc, and these weren't. You're seeing my scrapbook page. Our photographer was only an amateur at the time, but isn't she amazing?! She's doing it professionally now. Here's her site.

Sountrack Sunday

Thanks to motherboard for this idea, too.

I heard "One step at a time" by Jordin Sparks the other day and when I really listened to it, it spoke to me. --I'm a huge American Idol fan, but not too crazy about Jordin Sparks. Her songs have an R&B feel, which isn't me. Also, they tend to have kinda dumb, cheesy lyrics. "Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you," is ridiculous to me. You're really comparing a love to that tattoo of the butterfly on your ankle? Okaaay...... And "No Air" got on my nerves till Joshua and Katie did their SYTYCD routine to it. (View it at the bottom of the page, if you want.)

Anyway, I wasn't a fan of this song at first. All I heard was, "Trying to make it in show biz is hard, but once you pay your dues, things will work out."

Now, however, I hear:

"Hurry up and wait. So close, but so far away...

Now your getting more and more frustrated, and you're getting all kind of impatient.

Just take one step at a time. There's no need to rush...

It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen.

We find the reasons why one step at a time.

...You believe and you doubt...

When you can't wait any longer, but there's no end in sight

IT'S YOUR FAITH THAT MAKES YOU STRONGER

The only way we get there is one step at a time...

It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen. "

Every one of these lines speaks to my soul right now. Superman and I are trying to figure out what God wants us to do, and we're weighing that against what we each want. Makes for lots of tears, and prayers, and deep discussions.

I'm getting frustrated. And impatient. I believe, and I doubt. I need to take it all one step at a time. And baby steps are okay. I don't know all the reasons why, but God will reveal them to me in His own time. I need to have that things will happen when they're supposed to happen.

And I need to increase my own faith, and let it strengthen me.

The next song is by Cherie Call. I LOVE this artist. I wasn't able to find my favorite song of hers, called "Beautiful." ("It's what you give that makes you beautiful. It's how you live that makes your dreams come true. Keep your faith in this world. Let the light of the Lord shine through. That's what makes you beautiful.") I love that her voice rings of honesty, and it sounds like she's just talking, but she happens to be singing. Love her simple acoustic sound. Her songs are truly beautiful and never fail to bring tears to my eyes. They almost always have a twist in them that gives you a different perspective.

I was searching for songs by Cherie Call and found this one. It's perfect. It reminds me of Garth Brooks' unanswered prayers, but with a much keener perspective.

"There are yesses that our Father can hardly wait to give. They are packed in every crevice of the lives we live. Sometimes God will pour down miracles and amazing twists of fate. Other times he chooses just to whisper, wait."

"If you ask him if he's ever overlooked you or ceased to love you so,

he'll say no."

God knows what He's doing. I need to trust in Him. I need to continue to seek answers, but also trust what He says. He will bring about that which will help me grow, and knows what's best for me. I know that I am never overlooked, and that He loves me.

And I know He loves you, too.

Sometimes the drugs help, sometimes they hinder. And sometimes, it's SSOOO worth it!!

Superman and I enjoyed a quiet evening at home last night. I cut his hair, we watched a movie, some Dog Whisperer, and messed around on the internet for a little bit. Around 11 we got into bed, and I felt a neck ache coming on. For me, neck aches ALWAYS turn into migraines, and I've gotta nip them in the bud or else they take hours and hours to go away.

Sometimes when I get them right before bed, I think, "I'm going to bed, so it'll go away. Sleeping in a cool dark room for 7-8 hours will surely help." Never does. I just wake up with a migraine that won't go away. My migraines don't make me naseous, but they are intense neck aches with a shooting pain right through my eyeball. Lots of fun.

So I got up and took an Excedrin Migraine. These do the trick for me . Going to the chiropractor also helps. IMMENSELY. After I get adjusted, I can go for 6 weeks without a migraine. Right now, I'm getting them 2-3 times/week. Our insurance doesn't cover the chiropractor, and I just can't afford $40 every 3 weeks. I fell asleep for about 20 minutes during the movie and slept on my neck wrong. I know that's where it started.

After taking the excedrin, I'm laying in bed and remember that While You Were Sleeping was coming on at 11. I love that movie!! I've inherited my mother's love for Sandra Bullock. I love her witty style and the way that everything she says in a movie feels completely natural. Like she's just making it all up off the top of her head. I think she's hilarious. "She thinks I'm funny..." 10 POINTS TO WHOMEVER CAN NAME THAT SANDRA BULLOCK MOVIE!!!

And we've got great couches. They're more comfortable than our bed. So I decide to fall asleep on the couch and enjoy me some Sandy Bullock. I was awake for about 2/3 of the movie, till the part where Peter wakes up. Then the rest of the movie happened.......while I was sleeping. (Betcha didn't see that one coming. MAN I need to get some new jokes.)

I woke up around 1:30 and decided to try to fall asleep in my own bed. I lay down.......and can't fall asleep for the life of me. I'm wide awake! Don't you hate that? When you're exhausted but can't fall asleep? INCREDIBLY frustrating. I realize then that the reason I can't sleep is that I consumed 130 grams of caffeine in the excedrin. Great.

So I try to fall asleep on the couch again. No luck. I can't get my mind to calm down......SO SO many things on my mind of late. I decided that if I was going to be awake, I might as well get in some good uninterrupted blogging. There were some bloggers who's site I wanted to visit, but hadn't found the time. -->If you see the your comment from me came around 2:15 in the morning, now you know why.<--
Around 3, I decided I needed to really try to go to bed. (By the way, my neck was still aching. One of the reasons I couldn't fall asleep.) I get in bed and cuddle up to Superman. After about 2 minutes of that, I change positions to try to get comfortable and have my back to him. He turns over in his sleep and cuddles up to me.

Then I hear his semi-conscious voice singing, "I'll buy you a bird. And a ring. You be happy. I'll buy you a bird. I'll buy you jelly. I'll buy you a ring. Be happy."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By this time I am SHAKING with silent laughter!!!! I didn't want to wake him up and ruin my midnight serenade!!! But in his state, he thought I was shaking with tears. "Don't cry. Don't be sad. I'll buy you a bird. And some jelly. I'll buy you a bird and a ring. Be happy," still singing.

At this point, I start quietly repeating it to myself so that I can remember it in the morning and tell him. He talks in his sleep alot, and sometimes I talk back. There's a REALLY funny story about that I'll have to share another day. But as I'm trying to remember what he's saying, he suddenly wakes up, "What!? What's going on?! What are you talking about?!"

I start to crack up. Uncontrollable laughter. I tell him, "You were singing to me that you'd buy me a bird, and a ring, and some jelly......BWAH HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!"

He starts laughing, too. I mean, jelly? I tell him I think he was trying to sing that lullaby, "Hush little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing, Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring don't shine...... Papa's gonna buy you........what's next? I don't remember. Papa's gonna buy you......"

"Some turpentine."

---breaking out into laughter again---

I love this man. I love that he tries to sing to me in his sleep. I love that he makes me laugh outloud every single day. I love that he gets up with the kids on a Saturday morning when I've only had 3 good hours of sleep. He is the vanilla to my chocolate. The cream to my cheese. The peanut butter to my jelly.

He was even going to buy me jelly. Awww....

p.s. sorry this is such a rambling, scattered story. I still have amigraine and can't really concentrate. But Superman's serenade was so funny that I just had to copy it down before I forgot.

Random 10 Friday

Roseanne Barr: Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

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Why is it that chaos is the law of the universe? That things are continuing to get more unorganized? Even the stuff that just sits there. You don't move it, doesn't move on it's own, and it gets dirty and dusty?
And why does this law come so acutely into focus in my own home? (why does acute mean "little" in geometry, but "big" everywhere else? another mystery of the universe....) No matter HOW many times I pick up, put away, wash and push into closets, and then make my kids sit on the couch not doing or touching ANYTHING, it still gets dirty! I'm sure I'm the only one who experiences this.

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Has anyone else noticed that almost ALL the Quiluetes have Biblical names? Jacob, Sam, Leah, Rachel, Seth, Paul, Jared, Rebecca......and no one else in the story has a Biblical name. Just a coincidence? More? Not that it really matters - as far as I know, there weren't any werewolves in the Bible. Just a thought I had in passing.

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My computer's on the blink. Not really the whole computer, just the monitor. It won't turn on because the button's stuck. It's not even a technical thing! Quite annoying. I'm currently typing on the laptop. But it is old and slow and not updated and can BARELY handle the things I want it to do. When I realized I might be without a computer for an indefinate amount of time, I got a little crazy. Then I realized this setup might work, and BOY am I glad it did. I didn't realize how dependent I was on escaping into the ether. I think Superman's looking for a monitor on Craigslist.

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I am SO excited for the fall line-up!! Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, The Office, Smallville, Dancing with the Stars.....That's all I can think of for now. Are they doing the Bachelor?

And then THE TWILIGHT MOVIE!!!!!!! The opening date has been moved up THREE WEEKS to November 21st!!!!



This is someone's compilation of all the trailers/clips. The music they have in the background doesn't mesh very well, but I like everything else.

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Since I have no ipod (gasp!) and the laptop doesn't have any music on it, I'm streaming my favorite radio station EVER. No DJs, people just call in and leave voicemails that they put on the air. (This is the only time I've heard myself on the radio.) The title and artist are at the end of every song. And really short commercial breaks. (They should be PAYING me for this stuff!!) So here's the last 10 on MY 99 5.

1. Jason Mraz - I'm Yours--such a happy summer song.

2. David Cook - Time Of My Life--totally infatuated with his live performances.

3. Coldplay - Viva La Vida--one of Superman's favorites right now, and therefore mine because it makes me think of him.

4. Kid Rock - All Summer Long---I can't relate to a single lyric in this song, but I love that it's a song about a favorite summer in the past. I could sing about "drinking cream soda out the bottle" or "rolling on the deserted highway" or "being kissed for the first time" and "singing "Kryptonite" all summer long."

5. Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine--all about empowerment and being happy when life gets rough

6. Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains The Same--great song about getting through tough times with the one you love

7. Maroon 5 / Rihanna - If I Never See Your Face Again --I love Maroon 5. I don't really like Rihanna, but for some reason, I love all her songs. Or maybe it's just that the end up all over the place. ("Shut Up and Drive," "Please don't stop the music")

8. Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher LOVING this song right now.

9. Sara Bareilles - Bottle It Up--she has such a unique style and sound and awesome lyrics

10. Daughtry - What About Now--anyone seen the video for this one? It's about changing the world.

Thursday Three.....not really, just a tag and a coincidence

So what if I'm posting Wednesday night? More of you are going to read this on Thrusday, except you crazy people who stay up late blogging. Go to bed already.

How To Play This Game of Tag:

Post these rules on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 facts about yourself. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog!

3 Joys:
1. Making my boys laugh
2. Seeing my boys interact nicely: taking care of one another, sharing, giving hugs and all that good stuff
3. Spending time one-on-one with Superman

3 Fears:
1. I won't make the right decision when I'm at a cross-road in my life
2. My children not making the right decisions at cross-roads in their lives
3. Life-altering, devastating things happening to my family (Not just death. Now I'm worried about plane crashes and burns that cover 80% of my body. And ectopic pregnancies that leave me fallopian tube-less. SO glad I read 30 blogs today. I don't mean to trivialize what these women are going through. It is absolutely devastating and heartbraking. But just more big worries to cram into my little head.)

3 Goals:
1. Save money (in general, and for Christmas)
2. Spend more time playing with my kids
3. umm......lose weight. Yeah, that sounds good. Losing weight's always a good goal to have. Maybe if I make it an actual goal I'll acheive it.

3 Obsessions:
1. Lipstick and earrings. I ALWAYS have to put them on if I'm seeing anyone but family. I feel like I look really tired if I don't have those things. So weird.
2. Blogging. I love love LOVE blogging. I love the friends I've made. The things I'm learning about myself. (i.e. I just learned that I want to spend more time with my kids.) I love feeling creative. I love writing. ♥♥♥
3. Pop-culture. American Idol, Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Rock of Love, E! Entertainment news.....such a sucker for it all. Hey, I gotta find drama SOMEWHERE.

3 Facts about myself:
1. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Libra. Lazy, indecisive, outgoing, vain, empathetic. And I get on very well with other Libra females. I know we aren't "supposed" to follow/believe in/pay attention to/WHATEVER all that stuff, but I'm amazed at how RIGHT some of it is. I get along really well with Aquarius girls --as in ALL my best friends-- and Picies guys.
2. I've only kissed two guys. (Both Picies. SEE. I told ya.)
3. When I was younger (like 12), I used to dream of being 5'4". As I got older, my expectations got lower. I realized I reached my peak height at 12. I now stand a towering 5'1/2". But hey, at least I can wear really high heels without worrying about being taller than Superman!

And I tag: .........I don't know who to tag. I most the people I know who DO tags have already done this one. So if anyone wants to do it, be my guest. I like tags for the days when I want to post but don't know what to say.

p.s. What's your sign, baby?

Introducing.....Wonder Woman!!!

In case you get a comment from me and wonder (no pun intended!! MAN I'm clever) who it's from, it's your sweet friend Alyssa. I've decided to be extraordinary.

Who knew the Wonder Bread store could be so tempting?

I've had a lot going through my head these days. Serious stuff. Too serious to blog about. It's just....really close to my heart, and confusing. I've been crying off and on all day, and one of the "on" times was coming home from running an errand. I was really fighting the tears. Trying to think of a way to distract myself.

....Retail therapy. That'd be nice. But I need MONEY for that.  And I refuse to take the kids to do "fun" shopping.....

...Chocolate. I could buy a shake. No - a chocolate banana malt. That would be perfect!! Mmm a malt--

--Wait, where am I? I'm almost at the Wonder Bread Store! I could get cupcakes! Turn signal! Go!! It's RIGHT THERE!!! I can buy something ON SALE *and* get chocolate!! THIS IS PERFECT!!!!


Park the car. It's only $1.50. It's chocolate! It's OKAY. Just GO. Do it do it do it before you think about it.

I turn to unbuckle my kids and see that one is asleep.

I seriously considered leaving him in the car. The front of the store is all big windows. It would be so fast. No one else was there. I'd just grab a box, throw $1.50 at the cashier, and be out in 60 seconds. He'd be just fine. All the windows are down. I can't wake him up! That'd be crazy!!!

****

And then I realize what I'm doing. I'm considering leaving my child in a hot car so I can buy a box of cupcakes because I feel like crying. I'd go home and lock the door to my bedroom and eat like 4 in a row. And then I'd REALLY feel like crying because nothing's been resolved, and I'd consumed like 5,000 calories. And I'd still have half the box that I'd probably finish in a day.

So I turn the car back on and drive away. I can do this. Willpower. Focus. Emotional eating will not solve my problems. Impulsive buys will not solve my problems. Come on. Just get home.
So I did it. I resisted. I WON. I did not buy a box of cupcakes to hoard and binge on.
So what if I ate a small (or not-so-small) handful of chocolate chips when I came home?

I'm domesticated. Not like a cat, but like Martha Stewart. Except that I'm not in jail. Yet.

You may be wondering what this is.

I'll tell you: it's a skirt.

I already knew that, Alyssa.

Okay, you could probably tell this is a skirt. But I'll bet you didn't know it's a special skirt.



Go ahead. Ask why it's special. Humor me.

-sigh- Fine. "Why is it special?"

I'm glad you asked! I'll TELL you why it's special! It's special because I MADE IT!!!

That's right, I SEWED SOMETHING!!!! And I didn't screw it up!!

So there's my happiness for today. What's yours?

0.01 second

Yeah. He won by one ONE HUNDREDTH of a second. The guy who came in 2nd was leading Phelps the whole race, then Phelps put in an extra half stroke at the end and WON. It was incredible.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog

Anyone seen this? It's HILARIOUS. Not what it sounds like. You'll love it.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/28343/dr-horribles-sing-along-blog

Throwback Thursday...NOT about the Olympics

Do you remember being a teenager? I liked it. I had a great group of friends. My husband was one of them. And his siblings. His sister is still my best friend. Truly a sister to me.

So....I loved being a teenager. I worked, but didn't really HAVE to. And it was a Dairy Queen, for Pete's sake. (Sorry Pete.) Not exactly a real job. School was easy, extracurriculars gave me an identity. Then of course hanging out with my peeps. Not the marshmallow ones, though they are one of the best things about Easter. That and Cadburry eggs. Mmmm...yummy chocolate....... But I digress.

My best friend Kelli and I would always play "The Ha Ha Game." It's where you lay down, then someone else lays down with their head on your stomache, then someone else's head on their stomache....you get the picture. (Or you can look at it below.) The first person laughs once. The next person laughs twice, and so on. The point is to not bust up laughing. Or maybe that IS the point. That's what we did.

We would have so much fun. This picture is from my parents' house. My now sister-in-law Nikki is in the ball cap. Kelli's on her feet, then I'm on her stomache. Levi's rubbing my feet. YES! Now I have PROOF that he used to do it!! My house was the hang out spot. My parents have a pool, and we spent the summer of 2000 at my house, in the pool or the basement. There was seriously something everyday. We would stay up late drinking cream soda, playing pool, watching movies, playing sardines....Man, I miss those days. Everyday was a party.

I don't think life will ever be that fun and carefree again. Of course I love having kids and they've brought incredible joy into my life, and I love the thought of being with Levi for the rest of my existence. But there are DEFINATELY days where I don't like being a grown-up.

I don't like paying bills. I don't like taking care of car maintenance. I don' t like waking up at 7 when my kids do. I don't like being exhausted by 9:30 pm. Do you remember the *stamina* we had when we were younger? I was up by FIVE for seminary every day, then at school, working, and cheering till like 10 or 10:30. Then I'd do some homework and try to be in bed by 11:30 or midnite. And I did this everyday for YEARS!! And during the summer it was even crazier! Up much later at night, then still up early in the morning for work/cheering. (6 am practices. THOSE were fun....) And I didn't bat an eye! Sure, I got tired, but it wasn't the exhaustion I feel now.

Remember when it was EASY to stay skinny? Between not having time to eat and running around like a crazy person trying to do 700 things at once and just having a higher metabolism, it wasn't even an issue. Sure, I wasn't a stick like half the girls in my school, but I was fit.

And I didn't have so many things to keep track of: vaccinations, when the bills are due, car registration, KIDS, a HUSBAND, whether or not they brushed teeth (all of them), if everyone has clean clothes for the day, making dinners with some variety, playdates, kids' shoes getting lost, feeding the dogs, church callings, how many chocolate chips have I had today?, can I have one more handful?, Tuesdays are American Idol, Thursdays are Grey's Anatomy and the Office, how long it's been since I shaved my legs,....the list just doesn't end!!

And don't even get me started on the things to worry about. Worry, worry, worry. Wrinkle, wrinkle, wrinkle. Just kidding. Not really. Now I'm worried about getting wrinkles. Great.

So......I miss it. I miss having little or no responsibility. 'Cuz sometimes, being a grown-up is just a drag.

I'll be consistent and follow the example of Michael Phelps, not the US women.......

I didn't mean for that to sound as harsh as it did. But since the women's gymnastic team had a disappointing showing last night, I thought maybe I would say anything about it today. But I've said something every other day and decided to stick with it. Like I said, Michael Phelps vs. the US women gymnasts.

Basically, it was going to be a tight competition between our women and China's. (It's so funny to call them women. They were all at least 16, but some looked 10!) We have reigning world champoins on our side, but China was at home. We were doing great till the beam and floor exercises. Nailed the vault, nailed the uneven bars. Levi and I were chanting "Down with the Commies!" Levi, in his Darth Vadar voice, "Find them and destroy them."

I really thought we might have a chance. The Chinese went to the beam. Their team leader fell off! Woo hoo!! Had a few more slip-ups. GREAT! The two girls after her also had a few balance checks that showed their nerves and cost them points. EXCELLENT!! Not really the spirit of the Olympics, cheering when people mess up, but they are Communists. :o)

The Chinese had done better than us on the uneven bars - they just had more difficult routines. We were about 1 point behind. (Actually quite a large margin.) But then when they did so poorly on the beam, everyone thought the Americans might actually pull it off. Then our Alicia Sacramone steps to the beam. The commentators are talking about how she is so solid on the beam, and has one of the hardest mounts. She springs, does a flip to land, and goes directly into a backflip. (Or something like that.) And that you can usually tell how she's feeling by how well her mount goes.

Well, she missed it. Did the flip, landed wrong, bobbled hugely, and fell off. OH NO. The rest of the rountine was pretty good, but she had a few more bobbles. The two girls after her did great, but would it be enough? Not really. Still behind the Chinese.

Then comes the floor routines. Again, Alicia Sacramone is first. Had she pulled it together? She was REALLY trying not to cry after her beam routine. But people kept giving her hugs and talking to her and the camera was right there....I could tell she just needed to be left alone. Get a few tears out when no one's looking, deep breaths, pull it together, put on a smile and put it behind her.

Didn't happen. On her very first tumbling pass, she came out of her flip just a little early and fell back when she landed. --sigh.-- There's no way we can do this, now. We needed to average 16s to have a chance of competing for the gold, and that's no longer possible. Then she stepped out of bounds on the next pass. The Chinese, of course, were beyond perfect in their routines.

So....disappointing. It's funny. The men got the bronze and we're all so happy about it. No one expected them to do it! The women get the silver, and everyone's disappointed. Kind of ironic.

But some good news - Michael Phelps got his 10th and 11th career golds last night, breaking 3 records in the process. And it was funny. When he finished the race where he got the 10th gold, more than anyone else ever has, he looked at the time and was mad! He hadn't beaten his personal best, so it wasn't good enough for him! Just shows me that his ONLY competition is himself. And in his mind, he lost.

This video is a horrible picture, but skip to the end and see the look on his face and his attitude. Levi and I cracked up! He broke a world record, but not the one he wanted to break.



Well, I need to get back to work. I told myself I wouldn't get on the computer till the house was clean today, then remembered I needed to send someone an e-mail. And I still haven't done it. The draw of the blog was too much for me. Absolutely no self-control. :o)

More men medaling

The men's gymnastic team defied all their critics and took home the bronze. Everyone said they wouldn't do well, but they were awesome last night. The upper-body strength displayed last night was INCREDIBLE. And Jonathan Horton (far right) was amazing!!! He didn't mess up once!!! This is an article written by Dominique Dawes about their win.

And tonight it's the women!!!

OLYMPICS!!

Did you see it?! The mens' relay swim team made an IMPOSSIBLE comeback and WON the race and smashed the world record by FOUR SECONDS!!!

The French were favored and were talking trash. By the end of the relay, the US team member Jason Lezak was behind the Frenchie and some other swimmer by about half a body. (A 6'5" male swimmer's body. whew!) But he just pushed and pushed and WON!!! It was incredible. The team was just overjoyed. And that's a huge understatement! This is a great play-by-play.

USA all the way, baby!! And we won in basketball! I was watching a bit of the female gymnastics qualifying tonight and I don't know.....there were way too many slip-ups for my taste. I guess we'll see. (You guys remember '96 in Atlanta with Shannon Miller and Kerri Strug and Dominique Mochianu and Dominique Dawes? That was a great year.)

Oh, and there's a 33-year-old gymnast competing for germany!! She was part of the Russian gold medal team in 1992. She's the oldest gymnast to ever compete.

I ♥ the Olympics!! And don't even get me started on the Opening Ceremonies this year. I have NEVER seen anything like that. I don't even remember opening ceremonies from any other Olympics. But I don't know how those could ever be outdone.

I believe the womens' gymnastic finals are Tuesday. I'm just so excited. What about you? Do YOU get as fired up over the Olympics as I do? I guess now that all my summer shows are over, I have nothing else to watch. And Grey's Anatomy doesn't start till Sept 25th. I don't know what I'm going to do when the Olympics are over! I might actually have to clean my house. Or work on that skirt that I started a month ago......

Probably not. Nobody's going to give me a gold medal. Which is OBVIOUSLY the only reason to do something right now.

My boys through Kiera's eyes

My beautiful friend Kiera came to dinner with her family a bit ago and shot some great pics of my boys. --She's an incredible photographer. She took my header pic.--

My sweet Eric. Had I thought about it, I would have cleaned off his face after dinner. I guess you're getting him in purest form.


Eric's "George Dub-ya" impression.

And now Isaac.

Isaac got a little upset when Kiera's son Matias had to go to time-out.

I've got a question.....

Those of you who have your blog VERY public (like LDS women bloggers or something) what are your thoughts on doing that and having pictures of your kids? I know that most of you post occasional pics of the kiddies, and I post them somewhat frequently. (Not as much as I used to, because I realized that you can actually WRITE on a blog and not only do pictures. And seeing how I always liked to write....)

I haven't put my blog on LDS women bloggers because I'm just a little worried about crazy people tracking me down and kidnapping my kids. :o) I'm not a paranoid person. In fact, my kids would probably be better off if I HAD a little more paranoia/worry-wart in me. But it always seems to come up with blogging. Private vs. public. Pros and cons.

And to be honest, I LOVE attention and making friends and having lots of comments. So there it is. My true confessions and vanity out there for the world. That's why I want to go REALLY public.

What do you think? All of our family lives out-of-state, so I try to do pics for them. But do I need to assign code names for everyone? Should I have a separate public blog for friends and creativity and a private one for family? (Though that sounds like a LOT of work. Which is bad.) One of them would probably be neglected. (Just like I'm neglecting my housework/dinner prep now.)

Maybe I'm just trying to figure out why I blog. Is it to stay in touch with family and friends? To get attention? To be creative in my spare time? Or, (D) all of the above? Or does it even matter?

So what are your thoughts? Many of you that I now consider friends I found through you being very public. And it's fun to learn about others' families and see kids.....I don't know.

Guess I'm just wonderin'....

The day DAWN is BREAKING

My thoughts on Breaking Dawn (probably what you've already heard): I loved the book. Love, love, LOVED it. It moves much faster than her other books. And twists and turns you don't see coming, then make total sense and make you feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. At least in my case.

That's really all I can say. It was SO good. Different from the other books and yet the same. Good ending. (I'm really trying not to spoil anything for anyone.)

I think my favorite part was when Frumpy called me Sunday night. She and I have become blog friends over the past few months, but have never met in person or spoken over the phone. But she was DYING to talk to someone and gave me a call. Love you, Janell! It was great to bounce things back and forth.

So now that I've read Breaking Dawn and written about it, life can return to normal. Sorry this is not an ACTUAL review. I don't want to give anything away, and I'm trying to watch how many (!) I use and how often I push the caps lock. So don't mistake the lack of those things for me being unenthusiastic. That is not true.

I also seem to be out of the habit of blogging and putting things together the way I want them to sound. And I have a 3-year-old screaming in my ear that he doesn't want water, he wants juice. (He's already had two cups today and it's just so expensive. And he needs water. But it's making it hard for me to concentrate.)

So I guess I'm done. This doesn't seem like the kind of post to generate a lot of comments, so I'll ask a question: What's making it hard for YOU to think right now? Or what is preoccupying your thoughts?

Amendment

Maybe I need to put a few more words into my wordless wednesdays. A couple of weeks ago I put up a picture of a chain lock and that it was how I showered and kept my sanity. The lock is not on my bathroom door. We have a lock on the knob that I use, and even if I don't, I am SO beyond my kids invading my privacy.

The lock is on the front door. Both boys can undo the deadbolt and like to run down the street while I'm showering. So now I can shower safe in the knowledge that they haven't escaped and I don't have to yell at them from my front door in my robe.

p.s. here's the shirt I made. And it didn't win me a book. But I did win a box of tootsie rolls. Whoopie. Like I need more tootsie rolls.

Random 10 Friday

Motherboard does a Random 10 and I'm copying her idea because I'm feeling a bit random today myself.

Payday
'Nuff said. I love payday. High five for going to Wal-mart for groceries!

Cub Scouts
I went to "Little Philmont" last night - a training for anyone involved in Cub or Boy Scouts. Levi and I are Cubmasters in our ward. I went while Levi stayed home with the kids, which I now regret. It was so good. My testimony of the importance of scouting in the church was very much strengthened. There is so much that these boys need to learn, and scouting is an excellent way to put it in action.

Isaac the Imp

And yes, those are cookies in his hand. Red, frosted animal cookies. A handful of them. What am I going to do with this boy?!

Fireworks

I just realized I didn't put up pics from Pioneer Day. We got some fun ones of the kids with sparklers. Eric was AMAZED.

Isaac wasn't as blown away by the sparklers as Eric, but enjoyed them. And got so sad when when they ran out. "Dad, it's broken!"

And finally, BREAKING DAWN

I can't begin to say how excited I am to get this book and read it!!! I haven't been an avid countdown watcher, haven't been just dying till it comes out. But in the last week, my attitude has changed. I called my SIL today just to say, "Tomorrow at this time we'll be reading "Breaking Dawn!" My library is having a party at from 10-midnight (I know, late for librarians, rigfht?) that I'm going to. They're actually giving away two copies and Deseret Book will be there selling them. ( There are times it pays to live in the heart of Mormonland!) They're having a T-shirt contest and I'm going to make one that says "My favorite vegetarians are HUNTERS." I am just SO psyched!! I bought my copy from the local Seagull Book that I'll go pick up Saturday around 9 am. They have a bunch they've already sold and you just go and tell them your name. No waiting for people to pay.....should be a short line. Hopefully. My family's eating pizza for dinner tomorrow....I have enough bread, cereal and milk to get the kids through, and I've got my diet Dr. Pepper. We're good to go.

I'd better stop. I haven't even read the book and I can't stop talking about it. I don't even know if they get married! I know SM said she "wrote a wedding," but doesn't say they get married. So many things.....

Okay. Really I'm stopping. But if I don't have a new post till Tuesday, you'll know why. I'm not sure if I'll read it on Sunday. I know it's an LDS author, but it is about vampires....we'll see how strong my will is. =-) And honestly, I love blogging so much that I may take a break and seek out the "Twilighters" in my blogging world. Should we set aside a time to meet and discuss? Sometime on Monday? Morning? Or should we just read all the way through and then converge?

Let me know what you think.

and now the real purpose of random 10 fridays - What's playing randomly on my computer

1. Hey Jude - The Beatles

2. Crazy for this Girl -Evan and Jerod

3. Home - Daughtry (accoustic version)
4. Push - Matchbox 20

5. Lowrider - War

6. Come Sail Away - Styx

7. Eric Clapton - Layla (accoustic version)

8. Feels like tonight - Daughtry

9. Jump - Van Halen

10. Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers (Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner...)

Bonus: All the small things - blink 182