One amusing Christmas Memory: My family usually picked out a real tree, and one year we went to the tree farm to do it. We rode on a tractor, found the perfect tree and my dad cut it down. On the way home, we stopped for gas. (This was back in the day before pay-at-the-pump, which meant we got to go in a pick out a candy bar.) Inside we saw an older man, somewhat heavy-set with white hair and a white beard. It was all real. He had gold glasses on, and a red turtleneck with Christmas suspenders and jeans.
My brother and I were in awe. We just stared. He then got in a red minivan with a vanity plate that said "Claus" and drove away. It was purely magical!
Two theories as to why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry: Theory #1...Chimneys generally don't have alarm systems. Kinda defeats the purpose of sneaking in if you're setting off alarms.
Theory #2...Santa was raised in 'da hood and was afraid if he was seen in his neighborhood wearing his slick red suit, he'd get shot. He would Fo' sho' end up gettin' capped in a drive-by if the gang wearing blue suits (Hanukkah Harry, I'm looking in your direction, yo!) ever saw him walking in through the front door. --->I totally stole Shana's answer because it's just so funny!
Three things you want for Christmas: Wii, wii fit, and a purple purse.
Four of your favorite Christmas movies: "White Christmas," "The Family Stone," "Miracle on 34th Street," "The Polar Express."
Five ways you've been naughty this year: Spending too much money..............times 4. (That's all I'm confessing to!)
Six ways you've been nice: #1 -We did something really nice last night, but Santa already knows about that one. #2 -my kids are still alive #3 - my husband's still alive #4 - the dogs are still alive #5 -my brother-in-law's still alive even though he decided to not move his family, including MY BEST FRIEND, really close to me #6 - I haven't asked to be released from any of my callings
Seven people you suspect are elves: Steven Colbert - have you seen his ears? And all the jolie-pitt kids. They're always off doing good things with their parents.
Eight of Santa's reindeer: Dash (Incredible) Parr, Benji Schwimmer, Michael Flatley, Carmen Electra, Haley Duff, Eros, Hanibal Lector, John Madden. (Did you catch that? Can you figure out how my twisted little mind works?)
Nine uses for snow:
--covering up all the ugly dead things (plants, not people!)
--a reason to buy more boots
--makes me develop a better relationship with the canines since they'd freeze if they stayed outside
--flirtatious snowball fights (yes, even for old married people) (with your spouse)
--sledding!!! (back home we'd do it on the overpasses, because that's the only change in elevation in Kansas)
--skiing
--snowboarding
--tubing
--burying doggie doo
Ten least favorite things about Christmas: Lines at walmart. Budgeting. Getting organized enough for Christmas cards. Taking down the decorations. Busyness. Holiday music the day after Halloween. Not spending it with family. The day after christmas let-down. Gaining poundage.
Eleven word associations to "figgy pudding": (1)Now(2)bring(3)us (4)some.......(5)what(6)IS(7)it?...(8)was(9)cursed(10)and(11)died.... Not the pudding. The tree. By Christ.
Twelve reasons you love Christmas: Snow. Giving gifts. Christmas music. Overwhelming sentimentality. Decorations. Spending time with the ones you love. Starting traditions with my family. Receiving gifts. (I know it's better to give than to receive, but it's still fun!!) Wrapping presents. Opportunites to teach my kids about Christ. Caroling. Happiness.
I'm taking another page from Shana's book and tagging the first 12 people that comment. The ones who really love me.
p.s. My hair turned out fine. I was needlessly worried.
10 comments:
Man I miss snow :) a flirtious snow ball fight sounds way fun.
and I'm glad your hair turned out :)
Hmmmm, I never really thought that about Steven Colbert, but I can totally see it! Have you seen his Christmas special? So funny!
I really like this post, it's so entertaining! And Stephen Colbert definitely could pass for an elf, you're SO right!
That was fun. I can just imagine seeing that Santa Claus man and thinking it was really him.
I hope you get all you want for Christmas...I was in TJMaxx and thought of you when I passed the purple purses. LOL!
Carmen Electra is definitely a VIXEN...I have 3 of her workout tapes...wish I looked like her doing them.
This is great! I learned much about you and I especially enjoyed your 12 reasons why you love Christmas.
Funny about Steven. This is a great tag. Totally hilarious and festive fun. Thanks for the evening chuckle. I really needed it.
This is so cute. Clever answers. I have never heard of The Family Stone movie. Do tell. m
Okay. You are just funny. Loved the post.
Well done, WW! I especially liked your reindeer names. Very clever!
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